Anxiety, Panic, Depression...but what do i do? Where do i go from here

[kirsty345]

Hi, im 21 and got diagnosed with a heart condition in the summer that means I pass out randomly or feel very dizzy and have to lie down/ sit on the floor. It happens more when im hot/standing up for a while. Bearning in mind I live in Birmingham, with big centrally heated shopping centres, and my only transport being rammed sweaty buses, this is not good. The amount of times iv had to get off the bus somewhere strange or lie on the floor in tescos....

Basically its made me terrified to go out. Uni is over an hr away on two buses. I live away from home in a student house with some close friends, but i feel so alone and out of control. Each day going into uni feels like the biggest ordeal of my life. I can't sleep the night before I know i have to go anywhere and i worry about it for days on end. All of my waking time is spent worrying about life, and the future. I am on sleeping tablets, and have been seeing a mental health advisor at my gp surgery, but she is no help. Neither are the books im being prescribed. They all say 'whats the worst that will happen, keep telling yourself you're ok' but bad things will happen, i will eb unconsious on the floor in the middle of town. I do all my shopping online or at the corner shop, but only if theres no queue, and i dread going anywhere. I get really quickly dehydrated, so going out in the evening, even when im feeling a bit more loosened up with a bit of alcohol, still causes huge problems, as its hot, and theres a queue for the bar. In reality I only pass out on odd occasions, maybe once or twice a month, but some weeks I'll feel dizzy quite a lot, and totally unable to concentrate on anything. Most days i sit around crying, i broke up with my boyfriend, because i hated going out, and was constantly on edge or panicky. I havent felt able to go out with anyone since. My mates and housemates are constantly going out for meals or doing things together, and i am always avoiding it. Any situation where i cannot escape home easily i avoid. Whereas last year i was travelling round the country on my own visiting friends who moved away from uni, this year it scares me to go past the end of my road.

I'm feeling so miserable about it all, and keep losing control and crying in town and out of the house. I feel as if nothing is fun anymore and all my time is spent worrying about everything. No one around me understands, and i sit in watching telly trying not to cry, or trying to make it into uni enough to not fail my degree (which i'll graduate from after june), while everyone else is flaunting their relationships, and fun filled lives. I dont know what help i can get? The doctors just keep sending me away :( and the mental health woman im seeing keeps giving me leaflets that dont work, and just read out the ones she gives me when im cring at her. I ahve no idea where to go from here. Im so worried its going to get worse.

[vetty]

have you told the nurse how bad you feel? have you tried searching online for other people in your area who are in the same situation? it sounds to me like a course of cbt/mindfulness would be really useful to you, could you ask your nurse about it?
i guess the most important thing to do is to tell your mh nurse exactly how you feel. if you can't say it, you could try writing it down?
could you talk to your mates/housemates and tell them you are finding it difficult to go out, and could they maybe get a takeaway and watch a film at home with you?
i hope i have given you a few ideas! you might want to post a question on bbc ouch forums, the people on there are full off loads of advice and friendlyness!
take care

[sunshineinthecity]

What kind of plans do you have in place for if you do faint in public? Maybe it's worth not telling yourself 'bad things won't happen' (it never works for me either) and concentrate on - 'If something bad does happen, it will be resolved. There will be trained first aiders, especially in public places - it's health and safety.'

That kind of thing, maybe?
*hugs*

[kirsty345]

Thanks for the advice vetty. I have told the nurse, but only a couple of my housemates know/understand how much its all upsetting me.

At the moment, if I go dizzy, I know to quickly get on the floor. By doing this I usually avoid losing all consiousness, and just lose my vision/hearing. I am not really sure of what would be a good action plan for when im out and about. I usually get so little warning, its just a case of sitting down, and hoping that it doesnt get any worse. I completely avoid supermarkets, and places where I cannot sit down/get fresh air asap. When it snowed it was a nightmare, so many people were staring at me sitting in the snow.

thanks for the replies

[Sunshine]

that sounds like such a difficult situation, i dont really have adny advice just wanted to let you know im listening and give you some hugs *hugs*
x