i started antidepressants about 3 weeks ago. i'd been feeling kind of depressed for a while but i could ignore it a lot of the time by surrounding myself with people and acting happy enough that i would actually feel happy in the moment. but i also just would go days at a time feeling terrible and dreading being alive.
since i have been on the medication, i feel manic depressive. within the same day i can be imagining how nice it would be to be dead and feel just unbelievably happy and even sometimes hopeful. but i feel like in general, even when i am happy in the moment, i just don't feel at all happy about life. i used to be an optimist who loved being alive, and now everything is just...ehh. even when i can honestly say i feel good in the moment, i just don't feel good about being alive.
if the antidepressants were working, would this change?
sometimes i feel like it is easier to get through the day, but i feel like i am simply living to get through the day. the idea of just being alive still doesn't appeal to me. and i absolutely hate this feeling.
sorry if that doesn't make much sense or i repeated myself too much. i'm quite tired and having difficulty making sense of my thoughts.
Having suicidal thoughts could be a serious side effect from the meds. Please check that out.
I would seriously seriously advice you talk to your therapist about this. Medication isn't supposed to numb you.
Here's loads of hugs, good positive thoughts, and hopes you will feel better and happier soon.
If you need to talk feel free to PM me ok?
So if you wanna burn yourself remember that I love you
If you wanna cut yourself remember that I love you
If you wanna kill yourself remember that I love you
Call me up before you're dead, we can make some plans instead Send me an IM, I'll be your friend
well i know that suicidal thoughts can be a side effect from it. but they were already sort of present before so i don't know if they necessarily are a side effect.
i'm meeting with my therapist today, i see her about twice a week. i'm going to bring it all up today. and i meet with the psychiatrist a week into february
The antidepressants may not have started working their full effect yet, sometimes it takes a little over a month to start seeing results. But definitely mention how you've been feeling to your psychiatrist and therapist. If you feel like you are getting worse, that could be a negative side effect of the meds (as you already know). So let them know, maybe there is a medication that is better suited to help you. But they'll probably have you give it another couple weeks before talking about a change.
Good luck hun, and make sure you discuss this with them.
Jess x
I wanna stay inside all day
I want the world to go away
Hey i think its great and very brave that you are going to discuss this with your therapist and Psychiatrist.That sounds the best thing to do.Well done.And i hope it goes well.Let us know.im sorry things have been so hard.Hope they get easier.
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
As they point out, it might take a while for the meds to kick in - but be sure to bring it up in any case. Have you tried keeping a sort of 'emotions' journal? I do it, and it's done wonders for me.
Big rah-rahs and hugs!
xx
So if you wanna burn yourself remember that I love you
If you wanna cut yourself remember that I love you
If you wanna kill yourself remember that I love you
Call me up before you're dead, we can make some plans instead Send me an IM, I'll be your friend
yes i do have a journal. it occasionally helps but often i sort of try to avoid thinking about how i am feeling because if i avoid acknowledging bad feelings, they're not as bad. when i actually sit down and think about it and define the emotions i feel, sometimes it can be depressing
please let me know what yo9u find out when you talk to your doctors about this...I am feeling 98% the same way you have been...I can relate to you on just about everything you mentioned word for word...I won't see my doctor till later...hang in there....I know how it feels...
Hey, don't leave me hanging. ): How are you? Have you seen your therapist yet? Are you ok?
Thinking about you
xx
So if you wanna burn yourself remember that I love you
If you wanna cut yourself remember that I love you
If you wanna kill yourself remember that I love you
Call me up before you're dead, we can make some plans instead Send me an IM, I'll be your friend
I know that feeling!
Your like going numb! You feel like your just exsisting, like you are here but mentally your not! that you feel down in side but your body or part of your brain is trying to tell you you are happy and ok. It's a strange horrible feeling! But I tell ya being numb is so much better than actually feeling!
From what I understand this is somewhat normal to feel as that is the whole point of anti depressants is to numb the feelings so you can talk about things but not have that deep emotion you have attached to it so you can deal with them better!
you should mention this to your doctor but they will probably say give it a few more weeks to give the pills time to kick in!
I hope things get better for you too!
hey thanks for all the support :)
i think it is kind of hard to gauge how the meds are working at the moment because i started taking them at a really stressful time so i am dealing with tons of outside factors. but i am seeing my therapist twice away, she said she is most concerned by how my moods have polarized.
i already had suicidal ideation to an extent before the meds, so i'm not sure if that is just continuing or getting worse with the meds.
we're sort of just keeping moving until i see my psychiatrist in february
Well You know you always have this place and plenty of people on here to help you if you ever feel suicidal :)
But yea take that lil bit of hope you have and hang on to it! Dont let it go!
Too soon to know. Wait until February to see if you've made progress.
*points to siggie* We mean it!! Hang on, we care.
xx
So if you wanna burn yourself remember that I love you
If you wanna cut yourself remember that I love you
If you wanna kill yourself remember that I love you
Call me up before you're dead, we can make some plans instead Send me an IM, I'll be your friend
I know SSRI antidepressants can up your thoughts of self harm and suicide but it does tend to pass after the first month or so in my experience. The adjustment period can be a little rough. Give it time but make sure you are aware of when it gets too bad because it might just be that the pills you're on are not right for you and you don't want them to have any negative effect on your mental health.
Slight mania is sort of normal too and is even linked to the thoughts of harming yourself from what I've read. Again it's something to watch. It should even out more as your body adjusts to the pills and the effect they are having, but if you feel it is getting too much don't be scared to talk to your doctor about it. About any of it. :)
