Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - I don't know why I do this..

[TheFearThatGaveMeWings]

I've noticed that whenever I'm by myself, I tend to be 'hostile' towards people I don't know or people I percieve as theatening. I can't even stand getting into situations that require me to interact with other people. I'm pretty much afraid of any situation I can't control. I'm not a control freak, but im afraid that if I can't control the situation im going to get hurt.
My own guess was that it might be because of what my brother did to me. I lost all sense of security the first night he came into my room. I can't even 'feel' happy. I used to feel that surge of emotion. I never feel that anymroe. I haven't in a long time. It's makeing being 'in love' really hard because I don't know at all if I am. I an't tell.

[laughingdoll]

Hi there,

It sounds like your very confused at the moment about your relationship, which I think is completely normal, as you've not felt happy for so long.

I also think that you behaving the way you do towards strangers may be because of some of the past things that happened to you. It sounds like you've become scared of everyone, if that makes sense - Those that you don't know to trust, make you feel uncomfortable?

I think the way you like to be in control is understandable - Your brother took your control, away from you and now your scared of someone else doing the same, which is something that I have felt before... I guess sometimes you need to try and remember that just because one person took away your control, doesn't mean that everyone else will, and that as much as one person has hurt you, not everyone will do so.

Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Are you seeking professional support at the moment?

Louise x

[melancholic_anicca]

Hey sweety,

I dont know you or your situation particularly well. All I know is that, like you, I will do anything to avoid a social situation where I have to communicate people I dont know, worse still is having to communicate with people who know of me but dont know me well!

Feel free to drop me a PM anytime