Triggering (SI/ED) - Running Free *Trigger for everything at some point*

[UnanimousAnonymous]

i havent been able to write for ages, i start then stop and get writers block etc. I'm not sure whether this is any good but im trying to get back into writing...

Part one


'I dont want to, please, i dont want to, just leave me, no!'
'I'm sorry but i cant do that, you have to come with us for your own safety.'

They grab my arms as i try to run, and push me to the ground, the handcuffs pull tight around my wrists. Tears fall on my cheeks as i realise there's no escaping and they are taking me back. Dread fills every space in my body, i cant go back.
I had been away from the hospital for seven hours, how i managed to escape i do not know but i just kept running, i ran until i could not run anymore.
i stopped by a river and collapsed onto a fallen tree trying to regain my breath. My heart was beating so hard and fast that it could have broken out of my chest, my head spinning and colours and objects mixing into one, my sight was blurring. I guess it wasnt a good idea to run after 4days of no food, but i had to get away, i just had to.

[UnanimousAnonymous]

I'm just doing a little bit at a time
comments please? Good or bad....
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All was quiet, only the soft rippling of the water and a bird in the distance could be heard. Taking deep breaths, i slowly rose to my feet and looked around. No one could be seen or heard, no animal was rustling through the undergrowth, it was just me, alone.
There were three pathways, one i had just run down, the second looked as though it headed towards the town centre. I couldnt take that, police were bound to be everywhere and on the look out for me. I took the right hand path, it headed into a dark wood which looked as though it carried on for miles.
I started to walk slowly towards it, taking in the peaceful sounds, the first time i had been alone since i woke up in hospital three weeks ago.

[crazykat]

You've started off really well, would like to read more

[Heaven Knows]

is well written. i like it.
would like to read more :)

[down*in*the*dumps]

its good. more please

[GiveMeHellKid]

I really like it.
I wanna see more :)

[UnanimousAnonymous]

Images of that night flashed through my mind. The pills, the alcohol, the room spinning. Flashing blue lights and people talking, although i could hear them it sounded as though they were far away.
Snap out of it Gemma.
Thoughts turned back to what i was going to do now, waling seemed the best option but i could walk forever. For now it will do though.
'It's so peaceful.'
For once i felt free, i was with myself. I could think, i could feel, i could smell the clean air. It was amazing for just that moment until the usual thoughts crept into my train of thought.
They were so demoralising, so intense. Hateful.
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really sorry thats all i can do right now because i may well be breaking out in Chicken pox and i cant stop scratching!
Will write more soon .x.

[UnanimousAnonymous]

**This part could be quite graphic for selfharm, please read carefully.**
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My heart began to race again, i was breathing harder, the thoughts were darting in and out of my mind. Shouting, laughter, words twisting, blending into one.
A voice,
'Cut!'
'Cut you bitch you know you want to!'
I slump to the floor against a tree, eyes closed, head in hands. Voices, scenes flick on and off in my head, my mind seemed to be transporting me back in time. It was all too much, my head was aching, agony infact. I had to cut.
I pulled out my tool from the back pocket of my now very dirty jeans and took a few deep breaths. I rolled up my sleeve to reveal a map of scars and scabs, held out my arm, closed my eyes and drew a deep breath. With one quick motion the tool fell.

I opened my eyes to find the word spinning, trees, rivers, buildings, rooms, people. What was happening?
As sudden as it began, it stopped. I was somewhere else, a little pink room with 'Snatch' duvet covers. I looked down at myself, my arms were clear, i was wearing a green dress, my hands found my head, my hair was short, in a bob.
This cannot be!
I turned to a mirror with my eyes shut, i stood not wanting to open them for fear of what i might see.
After a couple of minutes i gradually peel my eye lids back and with a gasp i fell back onto the desk chair behind.
Somehow i had travelled back in time, i was six years old again.

[UnanimousAnonymous]

I'm writing this as i go so im only writing in little bits, if you get the chance could you tell me what you like/dont like??
Thankyou!
Hope you're enjoying so far
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I sat in the desk chair for what seemed like hours, looking around at the room i used to know and love, thinking of how this had happened. Questions, confusion, so many emotions.
What was i going to find if i left my room?
All was silent, but was my mum in the house? My brothers and my dog who died two years ago? Barney, my beautiful cat who we had just lost?
My room was exactly as i remembered it, pink with 'Snatch' duvet covers and matching head board and light shade. my desk with a pink cover which my mum had made and pictures of the Spice Girls.
My teddys, my christening plate that i broke just before we moved away.
This cant be happening.
I slowly get up and turn towards the door and tip toe towards it, i reach for the handle and pull.
'Dino!'
Dino was laying at the door waiting as he did so many times, it was dark, it must be late. No one could be heard, just the excited panting of my dog. I let him in and straight away he lept on my bed, followed shortly by Barney who had uncurled himself from under the dining room table and was now making himself comfortable on a pillow.
I layed back next to the pets i had missed so much, i allowed dino to clamber on top of me as he always did and could feel the warmth of his foul breath against my face but i didnt care, for now i had him back.

I must have fallen asleep a little while later, because i heard a tap at the door and when i opened my eyes it was daylight. No longer in my green dress and no animals sprawled on my bed.
My mum came in.
'Come on Gem, 'bout time you got up.'
She was younger, healthier, she was walking normally, with out the constant limp she has now. She hasnt been the same since her surgery, but then, she hasnt had it yet, has she?
I'm a sixteen year old girl in a six year olds body, ive some how started over.
Riddled with confusion i dragged myself out of bed and pulled on my dressing gown which my mum had placed on the radiator when she checked on me during the night. It was warm and cosy, comforting even.
I headed to the kitchen, turned the corner and there they were, my brothers, young, happy and although not entirely healthy, healthier than now....or will be, shall i say?
I didnt say anything, just stood and watched in amazement as they were playing, they hardly played anymore. They were quiet, more withdrawn, would rather watch Power Rangers or Tom and Jerry now.
I stood smiling at them for a while until i was bought back to 'reality' by mum asking what i wanted for breakfast.
'Erm, just toast please.'
I sat at the table and watched mum prepare my toast.
These were the days we were so close, the days i miss more than anything.
she placed the toast on a mat in front of me,
'eat up and we'll go to lynne's when everyones ready.'
I couldnt say anything back, i just smiled and took a tiny bite of of my toast, watching as she walked off down the hallway.

[~XxxFireflyxxX~]

This is really good hunni!!!

Well done

Sophie
Xxxx

[UnanimousAnonymous]

i havent been able to write again yet and im away for a couple of days, thankyou for you comments.
Anymore would be much appreciated...
Much love
Gemz
.x.

[Shadowedcorner]

The first part of your story made me want to cry because it sounded so similar to my own best friend's situation. She was arrested and taken to the mental ward in a police car. I didn't see her again for an entire week. *hugs* Its a great story!!

[down*in*the*dumps]

is there any more?

[PaperClip]

hey hun - this is rele good, cant wait for the next installment! Yippy!