Triggering (SI/Sexual Abuse) - I still can't deal with it.

[xxLeannexx]

Well I dont really know how much detail I am allowed to post on this, so I will just keep it basic unless I am allowed to say more because I think typing the full story out may help.
When I was 7 years old my step brother abused me. Then when I was 15 3 boys in my neighbourhood abused me in a really graphic and horrible way, then when I was 17 my uncle also decided he wanted some and abused me.
I have always had trouble dealing with this, I blame myself constantly because I can't believe I let this happen to me 3 times. I self harmed for years, had an eating disorder and attempted suicide on several occasions.
Eventually after years of counselling I thought I had got over it, but it still creeps up on me every now and then, My biggest worry is that my daughter is going to go through the same thing. I't hurts me so much to think that I could let anything happen to her.
She is only 10 months old at the moment but I know when she gets old enough to go out and play at the park or something I am going to find it really hard to let her go.

[Sky]

Hey there

I can understand you feeling worried about your daughter and what she may or may not go through when she's older and it's natural to feel that way. But I think the key here is when the time comes you will need to let her go so she can go and explore and play with her friends. What might help is as she's growing up you let her know that she can talk to you about anything and that you don't have any secrets - I don't know if that will help at all. I know it's hard but you wont be able to keep her indoors all the time for fear of something happening because she may just well rebel against that when she's older.

Sorry I don't know what else to suggest, but feel free to pm me if needed

[bloodletting]

thats a lot to go through...but pls know it wasn't anything about you or something you did wrong.
and maybe seeing a counsellor again would help, both with your memories and the fears you have for your daughter. there is no time limit...it's not really something you can get over, but you can get the tools to help you cope and live life.
i have 3 very young kids and have been abused, so i understand your fear and wanting to protect them from the world, just know that sadly we cant control everything, all you can do is be there for your daughter and support her through life.
take care xoxoxox