Am I forgetting how to interact with people? *long*

Nocebo · 02-01-2010, 03:09 PM

Since leaving school many years ago and getting into a relationship where I was told 'everyone is evil' I 've struggled to make friends.

I went to college but couldnt finish the course due to depression and getting caught pregnant (shes nearly 8 now!)

Since then I've been married twice...I love my husband and family dearly. We have 2 daughters and a son who is due in just 6 weeks. But I feel lonely all of the time.

I've parented on my own all day all week whilst hubby has been working hard and then coming home to help. I've tried playgroups and online forums etc but I havnt made any friendships that seem to have 'stuck'. I could easily move and not 'miss' anybody.

I don;t understand what I'm doing so wrong. My husband doesnt understand either. I'm not a social recluse. I try so hard, maybe too hard(!?) and can easily keep up a conversation with anybody. Old ladies in the queue at Asda etc. I can communicate easily, I just don't seem to get the opportunity.

I tried facebook thinking that it might put me in touch with people who have drifted away, but I find I get upset because the couple of people who talk to me on there ONLY talk to me because I'm there...even though they have my mobile number!

I don't understand what I'm doing wrong at all. I often count how many people would be at my funeral...not many.

I've resisited harming myself for 2 years now but pregnnacy and a complete lack of social contact is weakening me somewhat and I don't know where i am anymore. I feel invisible.

I havnt even been to RYL for such a long time - I can trigger easily. I'm so fed up of writing everything in my journal and hiding it away.

I'm confused and tired. I really want to feel better, especially when baby is born. But I don't know if I will. Being a stay at home Mum is lonely work. I've done it for nearly 8 years and I'm not confident I can cope.

~Grace~ · 02-01-2010, 07:56 PM

Just wanted to say that ive read and that I truely understand that lonely feeling. I too have a family which I love dearly..but ive been off sick for almost 4 years and have drifted away from friends and now I have next to none.

Wanted you to know that youre not on your own, but im afraid I dont know what the answer is xxxx

Nocebo · 03-01-2010, 07:36 PM

Thankyou for responding. It is a help just to know I make a bit of sense in some way.

Wannabfree · 04-01-2010, 10:32 AM

I can relate to how you are feeling. I am a stay at home mum with 2 kids and my husband hardly sees the kids in the week days due to long hours so most of the caring for the kids/household things is done by me. i too have tried the playgroups, facebook, trying to make friendships etc. Its hard work to make friends and i really enjoy the company of others, yet i have few ''real'' friendships.

I can also understand the desire for SI during pregnancy - you would be more tired than usual, especially with only 6 weeks to go. I dont think you are forgetting how to interact, just maybe you dont have as much time, or energy? kids can be very draining and stressful...what about getting the kids babysat, then going out for a movie, dinner or something else you enjoy...it may help decrease the stress levels?

anyways just wanted to let u know i understand and can relate ''hugs''

IcarusDrowning · 05-01-2010, 09:02 AM

Just wanted to say what you are saying is completely understandable.

Battling mental health conditions is extremely tiring. Just coping day to day even. Its hard to stay grounded in things like 'normal' friends It takes an extra level to even consider being extraverted and its hard to summon that with commitments like kids, marriage etc.

*hugs*

startingagain · 07-01-2010, 12:17 AM

My psychologist recommended me to a befriender service. It may be worth looking in your area. They also have group activities. I'm scared about doing it, but worth trying.

Geranium · 07-01-2010, 06:25 AM

I think (in the longer term when the baby is a few months!) it would probably help to have a focus outside of the house a bit more. Maybe do something centered around an activity? like an evening class, or voluntary work for a morning a week (if you can get childcare).

I was wondering if your bad experience has made you a bit scared of getting close to people though?