I have never been raped or even had sex. I'm 18. I have these dreams, they are so vivid I can just picture them now. They are distressing to me and are disturbing.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Dreams are of...
Me being violently, and I mean VIOLENTLY raped by boys who I find attractive. Not nessicarily fancy but boys who I think are good looking... a boy who works opposite my mums work who I do fancy, and my cousin who I dont fancy but he is good looking. I have never had the dreams where anyone else raped me appart from these two, one night I'll dream about my cousin and the next, the polish boy... these dreams seem to last untill I wake up and I'm all swetty and hot and bothered. In the dream I am fully aware of what is happening and I have said no to them and struggled but then I just give up and become weak.
I am going to America where my cousin lives and is from next month, I dont know what I'm going to be like around him. I'm scared he'll find me attractive because I know it's so so so wrong.
I'm scared, it's like a premonition that I don't know when it's going to happen.
It's sick I am so wrong in the head I deserve to be locked in a padded cell.
What's happening to me?
Before when I was just having normal nightmares like a little kid does, I told my psychiatrist and he said that dreams don't mean anything. In some way I think I should tell him about the rape dreams but then again he'll probably just say 'it's only a dream' well it seems so real to me and I just want these to stop but I dont think anything can stop them because I feel like it IS a premonition.
I'm seeing my psych tomorrow. So what do you think I should do?
I'm sorry you're having such horrible nightmares. They must be very hard to cope with. I remember having a nightmare in which I was raped by a family member, who had passed away years ago. It really freaked me out because, like you, I knew I was never raped. It seemed like a really strange dream to have. Eventually I put it down to something I saw on tv.
But I think it must be much harder for you because it's a recurrent nightmare. I do think that you should talk to your psych about it. Dont think about what he said in the past. He may be able to talk to you about stuff that might somehow be related, help you come to terms with stuff that might stop the nightmares.
Let us know how you get on tomorrow,
take care,
Siobhán X
Today I'll try to become more aware of alternatives that I haven't yet realised.
Although I have no control over other people's reactions or thoughts, I can change the way I react.
Thank you Siobhán, I have decided to write it down on paper and show him in my session as I don't think I could bring myself to actually say it. I'm seeing my doc at 930 tomorrow so wish me luck. Thank you so much.
hello allyssa,
im so sorry you are having these reoccuring nightmares. i had a similiar situation once and i told my councelor about it and a leader of a psych group i was attending at the time, she told me i should treat it as if it had occured and deal with it as such since it caused me just as much anguish. i later found out that i had been assaulted while medicated and what i thought was just a dream was my subcounscious screaming out. im saying that this is true of you, but i am saying that you should mention it to your psych and ask about dealing with it as if it ha dtrully happened, for there is some reason that you having this nightmare. please let us know how your appointment goes ok.
Defo tell your psych about the dreams.
Whilst they may not happen in real life, they are still distressing you. Those emotions ontheir own are enough to make the dreams reoccur. The more you talk about them the easier they can become to deal with. However, if you keep locking your feelings up it is bound to become worse.
Good luck for tomorrow. Let us know how you get on.
Take care
Kim
While I do think the dreams don't mean the obvious and I can't buy the premonition thing I definitely think that dreams are never meaningless. Especially recurring themes and characters. Tell your psychiatrist and explain your anxieties about her dismissing it and your premonition theory. And don't feel like you're sick. I've had some very bizarre dreams. *hug*
Dreams are sometimes "meaningless" but I think more often they're subjectively and subconsciously symbolic.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : possibly triggering? talks about your dream
Think, if you can, about the different elements in the dream. Remember that it isn't literal. Those boys aren't those boys and the rape isn't rape. What do those boys represent? Perhaps possibility or perhaps security or perhaps love. What does rape represent? Perhaps being taken advantage of or having dreams destroyed or such.
Maybe, then, the dream is showing you that you are afraid of being taken advantage of in relationships, or that you feel insecure about security. I don't know how your mind works, you'd have to figure these things out, but this is something you may want to try and figure out.
"When I was a little kid, my mother told me not to stare into the sun, so when I was six I did..."
He didn't even ask me if I wanted to talk to him by myself! I have one more session with him then I'm off to my adult psychiatrist. I think it'll be best to tell my new doc because my current one can't really help me. I am going to write it all down, the dreams I mean. I dont want to hold on to this forever, I just need to let it out soon you know.
I would also be inclined to feel that your dreams are maybe to do with an emotional violation, maybe something to do with your femininity, yourself as a woman.
You say you've never been raped or had sex. I've never had sex either. My father wounded my sense of myself as a female, as a girl and now a woman, by treating my mum and I like dirt when I was little, and calling women useless objects. Also the bullies made me to believe I am unattractive and unlovable ever. I'm both scared of and angry at men for this reason. Sometimes I have sexual abuse dreams, and that's how I interpret them. It might be similar for you.
Tell your new psychiatrist when you see him. It can help him to understand you, and hopefully help you to make sense of what's happening in your unconscious that you need to figure out to live life in your body more comfortably.
