relationships with other patients

star runner · 29-12-2009, 09:52 PM

Has anybody else started a relationship with another patient in a psychiatric ward? I did (though it started when we had both been discharged). We spent a very chaotic couple of weeks together until i realised that if i were to continue to see him it would seriously damage my recovery so i stopped seeing him in September. I've missed him such a lot and tried to call but his phone has always been switched off. Now he has called me. I missed his 4 calls and he didn't leave a msg. I am drawn to him because i miss being too ill to work, being in hospital and living the alternative life i led for more than a year. Everybody thinks "I am back to normal now" but all i want to do is "drop out" and being back in contact with this man would be part of that destructive desire. i'm in a mess and i hate myself.

wagg · 30-12-2009, 07:13 AM

I had feelings for a girl I met in a hospital but she wasn't really interested in anything right now. Sometimes I feel like my mental health history is a burden and if I tell someone I really click with about it they'll get scared away. So I can see the appeal of dating someone you met in a ward.

I'm sorry things aren't going well for you right now, leave me a message if you wanted to talk.

30-12-2009, 07:44 AM

It's good your thinking about this logically. If you feel he would damage your mental health, perhaps now is not the time to start a relationship with him. If you can be just friends, that's great. But more often than not, it ends up going further when you both have feelings for each other. Perhaps change your number and delete his so you can't contact him. It's not that you're trying to hurt him, but that it's just in your best interest not to talk with him currently. Hope it goes well. *hugs*

vetty · 30-12-2009, 10:06 PM

DON'T GO THERE! believe me, when i was very ill, i ended up letting some people take advantage of me on units, lets just say things went from bad to worse, and i think now most of the people i got involved with are in prison/secure units. just remember that everyone on the unit is there for a different reason, they have different illnesses. i wouldn't advice anyone to get in any relationship when they are ill, whether the other person is ill or not.

el_jumbel · 01-01-2010, 04:13 AM

I think a lot of what draws us to other people with problems is not having to worry about being understood or judged. But when your recovering its a good life line and it's dead hard to turn your back on it.

Its really hard to deny yourself the understanding of someone you think gets you.

When you've got yourself right you'll meet someone who is right for you, and they might be 100% normal and still have empathy and understand you. Don't feel guilty for anyone else.

star runner · 02-01-2010, 05:06 PM

thank you for the replies. A lot of the responses made sense and have given me things to think about. I'm still obsessing but at least i've not dug myself into a deeper mess than i'm already in. thanks x

UnanimousAnonymous · 02-01-2010, 07:22 PM

I was in a relationship with a guy in the last unit i was in (we were only 15 at the time though) and it didnt really effect us because it was more about supporting eachother and just being a bit closer than friends should i say. It ended when he left but i knew it would and so did he.
I think its different with each individual. If you think it is going to jeopardise your recovery, its not worth it.
xx