can't stop

snoopdragon · 06-08-2007, 06:01 AM

i cant stop hurting myself i have been doing it every couple of days and i even started doing it in work and i think somone saw me do it on friday it was just some scratches on my hand to get me through the day. the last time i cut at home i was scared that i would die the blood was pooring out of the cuts. and they kept reopening everytime i moved my arm for about three days i actually had to stay home from work because of it.i keep thinking about killing myself and i dont even know why nothing in my life is that bad but i cant go one day without thinking about it.

~invisible~girl~ · 07-08-2007, 04:32 AM

SI can be sort of addictive, and it sounds like you become fairly dependent on it. How long have you been cutting? Have you had any kind of professional help for it? There doesn't have to be something specific to 'make' you cut every time - it's often a way to deal with depression or other more general bad feelings. Maybe can you try to think about how you feel right before you cut so that maybe you can find ways to distract yourself when you feel like that or ways to avoid feeling like that in the first place?

snoopdragon · 08-08-2007, 12:19 AM

i've been doing it for about twelve years.nobody knew about it until about a year ago.most of the time im depressed when i do it but this time ithink it was the stress from my job.

Stellata · 08-08-2007, 08:44 PM

Would you like to say some more about what's stressful about your job? Maybe there is something that can be done to ease this.

Do you have a diagnosis of depression that is ongoing/recurring? If your company is of a certain size, they are legally obligated to support you in making adjustments to accommodate your mental health needs.

You might find this helpful, its an article by Mind on Surviving Working Life. Mind guide to surviving working life [link] Both I and my manager find it really helpful.

I used to self harm in the loos at work. So I can relate to some of what you are going through.

snoopdragon · 09-08-2007, 01:06 AM

i was the supervisor for the day and nothing seemed to be going right.anytime i am supervising i feel like i don't do good enough.i have never talked to adoctor about my problems and have no insurance now.

Bitter_Angel · 09-08-2007, 10:52 PM

Have you thought about maybe speaking to your doctor regarding these feelings?
SI is something we often use as a way of controlling our feelings. However, its not the only way to control them. There are other ways too. Have you tried drawing maybe? or perhaps writting first.

Do you know what feelings are making you feel overwhelmed enough to need to hurt yourself? Is there anyway you can address these feelings?
Is there anybody you trust enough who you could maybe talk to when you are feeling down?

As for looking after the wounds, there is a first aid forum on this site, where you can get excellent advice on caring for wounds and on promoting better healing. Maybe im biased, but the staff in there are lovley if you ever need any help with a wound, just post in there for advice.

Take care
Kim

snoopdragon · 16-08-2007, 07:00 AM

only three people know that i cut myself my mom and dad and a someone i work with my parents think i stopped and the girl i work with has her own problems and i don't want her to worry about me.so i have nobody to talk to and i cant afford a doctor because i have no health insurance.

Seraphsigh · 16-08-2007, 08:49 AM

You can talk to us!
And the quick answer to no health insurance, at least for me, is a) butterfly stitches, b) lots of vitamins and c) a good support group. With a pharmacy and this forum, you've got them all covered.
I didn't talk to anyone in the world until this year, and I'm 26...not my parents, not anyone. But I found good friends, and if you ever need to talk, we're here.