Feeling like 14 again

[spiders*web]

I'm twenty two. I felt like in only a few years I had been through it all, with depression, mania, eating disorders, self harm and so many other things you guys could relate to. I felt old.

And now I feel like I'm a kid again. Just as scared. Just as unknowledgable about an illness I've been through countless times. But I also know where it can lead. Which makes the fear almost debilitating.


I'm not good at talking about this stuff anymore. I've locked it away more and more as I've met new people and was able to hide things as just my past. So I don't really know where I'm going. I was hoping someone could relate and offer a couple of words of advice maybe. I don't come on here often anymore. I'm not sure what to expect.

[Bitter_Angel]

hmm well I can relate.

Perhaps, insted of locking things away get them out instead. Keeping stuff inside is a sure way to head towards self destruction. If you find talking difficult, perhaps you could try writing down your feelings. Keeping a journal. Or even drawing them.

You say you have been here before, so you know how hard it is to get out of bad habbits once you are in them. Fight them now, before it ets any harder.

Take care
Kim

[Dreaming.]

Hi there, spiders*web

Welcome back, and please feel free to post as and when you feel you need to.
It does sound like you've been trhough an awful lot in the past few years, and it's probably been very overwhelming, emotionally.

When you say that you feel like a child again, how do you mean? Are you experiencing something new, or just through new eyes? And what happens when you try to draw on older experiences, on your memories?
The fear can be horrid, can be terrifying - are you coping with this, and is it prompting you into doing something more positive with your life right now?

When you say that you aren't able to talk to people any more, what has triggered this change? Have you tried tapping into your old "coping resource bank", to identify how you can try to talk to people again?
Sometimes, the reason that we can't talk to people is because we're so un-used to talking. This means that we naturally struggle, because we've adapted to not talk. In which case, try talking. Just talk about anything, to anybody. Try talking to your mum about the weather, to your friends about shoes - speak your thoughts as you are thinking them. If you can do this, if you can start to break down the metaphorical barrier brick by brick, you may find yourself more able to talk about the serious things, the way you are feeling at the moment, and what you need to get past this difficult placde in your life.

Take care of yourself, and please feel free to talk about anything to us!
Jo xo