I had severe depression a few years ago, and managed to get myself better, and have been doing ok since then....until a few months ago that is.
I know I'm really bad at the moment, going from what I was like the last time. Although I'm not using self harm to vent this time around, I feel that I'm in a worse state of mind.
I just feel completely disconnected, I have no control over my emotions, thoughts, outbursts, and anger. My boyfriend is trying his hardest to be supportive, but I find it difficult, almost impossible to fully explain how I'm feeling, and when I try, it doesn't come out right.
The way I'm behaving and acting is really starting to affect him and our relationship. I know this, but at the same time I feel completely unable to stop myself from being how I am.
I have been to the doctors, who has sent me the number of a counselling service for me to attend. I am fairly positive about this, but at the same time I still feel like this is something that I will have to be stuck on a waiting list for, and doesn't help me here and now.
I am sick and tired of feeling like this, feeling a constant anxiety, a constant feeling of failure, of hopelessness. I want to get better, but I don't know how.
I can't live like this anymore....I'm destroying myself and my relationship.
