Triggering (SI/ED) - Sanity out the window again!!?

[LetMeSlipAway]

Hey guys... I'm really hoping someone can help me cos no one else can... not even Dr's!
I started uni in september thinkin my MH was dandy but so far its a bit wobbly! Im paranoid all the time, thinking that my boyfriends cheating on me, that a certain guy in my class is undecover for some sort of research, people are outside my hosue watching me etc. the list goes on! The other night I cut myself quite bad but I thought it was a daydream and this has only started from going to uni... My eatings gone bad again too and I tried to break up with my boyfriend twice last weekend for no reason at all... and I love him to bits and dont wanna loose him yet I still keep tryin to dump him.

I actually have no idea why im behaving like this especially with my boyfriend and the daydreaming buisness... I'm taking all my tablets on time and everything I dont understand. I'm also feeling suicidal for absolutly no reason... it just keeps poppin into my head casually like thinking about TV or somethin and suicide's no light subject. Ive been in hospital before but dont no if I'm ill or whats going on...

Any help or suggestions, anything at all!!?

[Stellata]

Are you seeing a doctor and having therapy or counselling?

You say doctors can't help you. Do you want them to help, or are you somehow gaining something from not letting them in?

[I.Heart.And]

Maybe University is stressing you out and it's coming out in these ways?

[LetMeSlipAway]

Up at uni I have a Psych, gettin reffered to the eating disorder team and am seein the uni counsellor! along with that I seen the crisis team last week! Down here at home I have a Psych and a CPN which I havent heard from in months and before I went to uni I was seein here twice a week!
Uni is stressful but Ive been under stress before but just cannot understand why im feeling and behaving like this.

[I.Heart.And]

At least you are aware that it's abnormal, it's good that you can take a step back from your behaviour and realise that it's not like you. If you were too wrapped up in it then you wouldn't be able to realise this.
I know it doesn't sound like much but it's a positive.

[LetMeSlipAway]

yea i suppose thats true! I just want to no whats going on and what I can do about it...
I hate feeling that everyones watching me and talkin about me... like the other day in class, a group of of people called out my name in front of the whole lecture for no reason and started laughing so thats really got to me and if my boyfriend wasnt so strong willed he would have walked out when I tried to dump him... I love him so much and for his sake I want help but I dont know how to get it! the dr's arnt doing much about it but I feel its ruining alot of good things for me... =(