you may not agree but, anytime my illness is under control i feel like i am the most boring person on the planet, like being really careful with my diet, making sure i sleep enough but not too much, whatching that i am participating in activities but not too many. i at times just become compleatly fed up and Bored. sometimes i thing i go off the rails on purpost just to have some excitment. anyone feel the same? have any advice coping with it?
nope i ahvent but i probably should. i can here my doctor in my head replying 'you have to do what you need to to stay well' i dont want people to think i ammaking myself ill but worrying about this at times makes me ill if that makes sense??
Perhaps you could explain to your doctor how this makes you feel and that you understand you need to do what you need to to stay well, but these feelings and thoughts are effecting that and you think they need to be addressed?
It can't hurt to bring it up hun, you never know what your doc will say for sure until you ask.
I hope you're ok
xxx
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
Yes. I do understand.
It gets so tiring after awhile; taking pills, diet, exercise, etc.
Sometimes it just feels like too much and annoying and..juts so many other thins.
I get fed up with pills after awhile, no matter how many times it makes me crash, iI end up doing it again!
Stupid, I know.
But...just to live like a 'normal' person for once would be very nice :\
It just can't be..at least not yet (if ever)
xx
I guess it depends on how long you've been doing it. Routine becomes everything. I know that certain meds make it more difficult to feel significant variations of mood but at the same time when stressors come along you are in a better position to cope.
I dunno if I ever went hypomanic on purpose but I know those are the times I am more productive...........so I probably don't pull the brakes when I should- i.e. yeah you actually feel alive.
But then you are on this roller coaster and the rest of the world is going so slowly and no one seems to understand where you are coming from.
Whereas, I do things now like wow you did your laundry or wow you washed the dishes or wow you had a bath (going through a real bad patch at the moment) so no life is what you think it is...........all this talk about meds and diet etc making you boring is either your illness or the world talking. Because I still remember what decisions I made when I was hypomanic and even though they weren't good ones- I still think I'd make the same ones again..................
Don't hurt yourself, care for yourself, cause no one else gives a hoot and being well is sometimes all you have.................monotony will bring familiarity and normality and routine..............which isn't always bad.
~Happy tomatoes together we will be~
You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red
“It’s time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. It’s not working for women, it’s not working for men,
it’s not working for polar bears.” Arianna Huffington 2014
Just a thought.
Sometimes keeping a diary/ journal of behaviour and choices so that you can correlate choices to behaviours and how you coped with situations e.g. days when you eat loads of sugar/ skip meals vs. days when you eat regular meals; days you take your meds vs. days you don't; days when you get a good night's rest to days when you sleep sporadically or have insomnia..............I am not recommending experimenting- but sometimes when you have documented evidence on how you cope better- you can engage in self talk and convince yourself to keep your mental train "on the rails". It takes a while to accept it and you will have days that you slip but hopefully they will be in the minority.
~Happy tomatoes together we will be~
You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red
“It’s time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. It’s not working for women, it’s not working for men,
it’s not working for polar bears.” Arianna Huffington 2014
I relate. I have BPD and to help lesson symptoms I have to make sure I'm getting a lot of sleep, which to me in itself is boring. I used to always stay up late and loved it. But now my sleep schedule is very typical and I spend way less time with my husband because of it. Problem is my symptoms worsen extensively if I don't get enough sleep. I often have urges to engage in other behaviours as well which aren't healthy just for the excitement part. In the end though I try and make choices which are "good" for me.
bitomato: think you might be right perhaps it is my illness talking.
to be honest i am probably still at the begining of my recovery and feel that my biggest down fall could be myself and my own behaviour. when i am in my routine things are good. then it all seems to fall apart and perhaps these feelings of being bored may be a warning signal for becoming ill again. at least thats what my doc said when i spoke to her today. i dont know really i suppose i amstill learning about myself and my behaviours.
I have no help or advice, but I am having such similar problems only with hypomania. I'm a better person when hypomanic, and I don't want to lose that. Life is exciting, vibrant and amazing when things are up.
I guess maybe motivatoin can be found in that what must go up must come odwn (or go "too high" and end up in a messy situation)? I think there is a balance somewhere where life can be good, interesting, the right speed and such, without people out of control... it's just dman difficult to find it.
If it is a warning signal do you have a plan of action? Maybe you could try and find something new to do that seems really interesting? But without the mania?
i think that perhaps the boring bit could be the start of hypomania? (things not being fast/exciting enought for me) this is probably the most important point that my routine isnt disturbed. although maybe that isnt it.
I know how you feel i hate when im just in a boring mood i just tend to sit there and do nothing. My camhs worker said she thinks that i cant be normal that my mood has to be either hyper or depressive. it kinda pissed me off that she said that but i do understand i sometimes prefer to be hypermanic than just boring :)
I'm sorry
but I have broken my wings,
I'm not able to fly away
from this pain inside.
R.I.P. Grandad I will love you forever!!!
i know how you feel about not wanting things to be boring - when i think of how much "fun" or how productive it was to be hypomanic i also try to remind myself of the damage it caused in terms of the aftermath, issues with me and my bf, the depression crash after and talk myself thru it, that its not worth it, doing longterm damange for some temporary fun...thats helped me a bit but its not easy and i feel for you *hugs*
"just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it turned into a beautiful butterfly..."
