Triggering (SI/ED) - I'm Sick *rant*

[finding.my.wings]

of....
being hungry
feeling faint
knowing i should eat
being exhausted even though ive done nothing to warrent this feeling.
not wanting to eat too much
knowing the truth but not accepting it
being laleded 'eating disordered'
striving for that perfect number- yet never reaching it.
arguing with myself and others
crying because i screwed up again
wanting to fix it- trying yet always failing.
of having freckles, dimples and curly hair.

sick of so much crap, sick of..

wanting to cut cos i know it will help- yet regreting it later
never being able to do enough to make everything better
being a wuss
blood
cutting not being enough
wearing long sleves and not being able to wear shorts.

sicak of saying im not ok.

sorry, idk, rant i guess- can i have hugs?

[Merc]

no words, I'm sorry.
I hope you can get out of this hell soon
xxx

[Merc]

Do you have anyone to talk to?
Would now, while you are feeling sick of it all, be a good time to reach out for some support?
I just read about one member who is in hospital now, due to kidney failure....i'm scared that may be you one soon...
Here if you want/need ok?
xx

[finding.my.wings]

hey thanks- and also for the PM.
its okay- its/im not that bad- i am accepting a small bit of help. promise and most of my freinds know bout my eating.
ill send you a PM sometimes- when i have more time.
<3

[chocostashchick]

that's great that you are accepting a small bit of help! that is a really really hard thing to do and it's really impressive and also a good sign that you are doing it
i hope you are feeling better