Triggering - Anything to Escape the Pain *Triggering: SI, ED, OD

[xSeeYouAroundx]

I wrote this story a while ago, and if ppl seem to like it ill add more chapters, and finish it, but for now i just hope atleast one person reads it..

Chapter One.

“Don’t please..” she whispered as she watched her best friend climb into the window sill. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“What would you do if I jumped right now?” Nick asked.

He always talks about this..I never thought he actually was this bad.. Jessica thought. She tucked her dark brown hair behind her ears to watch him better. She was starting to get cold since he opened the window and it was still January. She picked up her Sweatshirt and put her arms through. “Why are you doing this?”

“You didn’t answer my question.” He was still crouching in the sill of his third story bedroom.

Her hair fell back onto her face so she straightened her back on his bed and sat cross legged. “I would be so upset, your my best friend and I don’t want to loose you. Please come back inside”

He sat with his legs hanging out and over the sill, “I’m a mess. Im sorry.” He said still not looking at her or coming inside. She didn’t understand how he wasn’t shivering. He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Finally he turned to face her, “You don’t understand. I’m so ready for this. I’m so sick of this world..”

She started to cry, “Don’t talk like that, you’re scaring me..” She shifted her legs so instead she was in a ball, holding her legs. Her gray skinny jeans made this position hard to stay in for long but she didn’t want him to see her cry. “Your like my brother and I hate to see you like this..”

He turned away from her again, looking at the setting sun. “My girlfriend doesn’t even call me anymore, I feel like she’s given up on me. I haven’t talked to her in such a long time, and the last time I did she got mad at me.”

The room was getting dark, they hadn’t turned on any lights, Jess put her legs down so they were hanging off the bed. “Can you please come back inside, I’m freezing.”

He didn’t move, “Your always cold.” He said flatly.

“I don’t care. Come in now.” She stood up, she knew she couldn’t move him, he was almost a foot taller then her. But she could try-“I said now.” She said trying to be strong but her voice broke on the last word. She dropped her sweatshirt and started shivering in her bright purple t-shirt. Why did I have to choose this shirt? She groaned in her head. She reached for him palms up.

“Where did you get those?” Nick asked his voice more urgent. He was referring to the cuts on her arms. “I thought I told you to stop.”

She jumped at his words and noticed he was turned completely around in the window so his feet were in the house. “I..I..”

“What am I going to do with you..” he said standing up and shutting the window. He fixed his black and white shirt and walked back over to the bed. He picked up his guitar and started plucking the strings.

She wiped the rest of the tears from her green eyes and picked up her sweatshirt. “I’m sorry. You don’t understand. I go through hell when im at home-”

“I do know.” He interrupted her. “I know exactly what's its like.”

“At least you have a family, everyone in my house just fights.” She snapped. She walked to the computer desk on the opposite side of the room, catching her foot on her sweatshirt and stumbling. “****!” she said, but she caught herself, only to hear Nick chuckling at her in the background. “It’s not funny..”

“I may have a family that doesn’t fight, but there never around to-”

Jessica’s cell phone began to ring, interrupting Nick. She listened to the ringtone for a second and heard Nick groan. Nick hated when he called. Actually, he just hated him in general. “Hello?” some silence. “Oh hey Andrew..” she said sitting on the messy desk. “Yeah im kinda busy right now, I can’t help.” A pause. “Im sorry..” She was choking back tears, “Bye..” she closed the phone.

“I hate what he does to you. He wants you to fix every little problem he has but when your upset he bails.” Nick said looking at the guitar.

“So..” She said picking up her sweatshirt and going back to the bed.

“Fine, whatever.” He said.

She turned on a light. “What was up with the window thing.” She asked avoiding the subject.

“N-Nothing. Just wanted to see what you’d d-do.” He stuttered.

She knew he was lying. He always did that when he was lying. She looked at his face. “Fine.” She turned away and hit ‘Play’ on his stereo. She picked up the mic and started sing.

[Dott Anne]

this is AMAZING! pleaaase write more.

[xSeeYouAroundx]

Chapter Two

By the time she got home that night, everyone was asleep. She knew she’d hear about being late for curfew in the morning. Oh well.. She thought. She crept into the living room, being careful not to step on the squeaky boards in the dining room. She logged onto aim and waited. ****. She cursed in her head.

He was on.. Of course. She counted, One..Two..Thr- He IMed her.



“Andrew”:Hey

“Me”: Hi, what's up?

“Andrew”: Thinking abt stuff.

“Me”: Like?

“Andrew”: My gf :]



Here we go again.. Jess thought to herself. Nicks right.. She felt like her throat was closing. She always felt this way when he talked about his girlfriend.



“Me”: oh.

“Andrew”: Yeah we suppost to hang out this weekend.

“Me”: oh what u gonna do?

“Andrew”: Probably watch a movie in my room :]



She started to get dizzy.



“Me”: oh that’s cute haha.

“Andrew”: I know but im worried she-



She closed her eyes, not wanting to read the rest. She already knew it. He needed her opinion or help of something. Jess opened her eyes and read exactly what she thought:



“Andrew”: I know but im worried she wont like what were doing

“Andrew”: I really like her and she wants to do a lot more

“Andrew”: we already do a lot but still..



Then he went into details about what they did..just like always. She decided music could help. Jess pulled her iPod out of her black purse and put it on the loudest it could go. She closed her eyes and waited till the song was over.



“Andrew”: Jess..?

“Andrew”: u there??

“Me”: yeah im here, sorry.

“Andrew”: So what do u think, shud i?

“Me”: Sure do whatever u want.



She typed fighting back tears.



“Me”: sorry I gotta go to sleep now..night.

“Andrew”: aw okay, night jessipoo :]



She signed off as the tears poured down. Why does he still call me that? She thought. She stood up and brought her purse into the bathroom. She started the shower and let it run till the small room was steamed up. She sat in the corner facing the tub crying. How can one person hurt so much? Not even meaning to!! Jess heard her phone vibrate. She reached up and took it from her purse on the toilet.



One Text Message: Anna.



She clicked “Read”



Hey, u awake?



She didn’t realize how late it was. It turned out she was in the bathroom longer then she thought. It was 2 am. She was in there for 2 hours. She clicked “Reply”.



Yeah..im here. Why?



She stood up and dried the mirror. Listening to the shower run, she stared at her reflection. Her dark brown hair was a mess, her eyeliner was smudged and her mascara was running down her face. Her green eyes were wild and bright. That’s how they got when she was upset and crying. She heard her phone vibrate on the floor. She reached down to get it, hitting her eyebrow ring on the sink.

“Shit” she cursed reaching to touch it. Her cold hands always soothed it. She picked up her phone and looked at the message.



Nothing, im just really bored. What abt u?



She thought for a moment.



I cant talk now. Im kinda busy. Sorry.

She picked up her bag without hitting send on her phone. She picked up the razor from the zipped pocket inside. She felt out of body looking at it. I wonder how bad Nick would kill me..

She picked it up and lightly put it against her wrist, noticing the 3 ugly scars from the past. They got deeper the further up her arm. Where the razor was now was less then a centimeter from where her wrist bent. She didn’t notice she was pressing hard until she saw the pearl drop of blood coming from the edge of the blade. She blinked and stood, staring. Fully entranced by the site of her own blood. Without thinking she dragged the razor across her wrist until the blood stained her bracelets. She watched it drip down her hand onto the floor.

She finally realized what she had done and she gasped and thrust her hand under the shower. Watching the blood wash down the drain. She fell to her knees and bent over the tub sobbing.

After she was all cleaned up she picked up her things, shut the shower off and walked out. She took 3 steps into her messy room where her sister was sleeping. Oh well. She thought as she collapsed into her bed.

[BeautifulGarbagex3]

Amazing , i love your writing style.
I would love to read more (: x

[Gone.]

This is really good, I would love to read more.

[xSeeYouAroundx]

Ugh, i just reread it &+ i realized how unorganized and old it is xD i should post my newer stuff.. this story is from a year ago...

Chapter Three

The next morning came quickly. She opened her eyes minutes before her phone would ring. She felt her wrist stinging and remembered the night. Groaning she turned her cell off when it rang. Her morning went as it usually would, for any school morning. Jess fought with her sister until she left the room, then she fixed her hair (putting a lime green bow in it to match her nails). She put on a simple black tank top and skinny jeans with her striped black and white sweatshirt. Before she left the room she put a little cover up on her pale skin and a thin layer of black eyeliner under and on the ends on her eyes. She skipped breakfast, she wasn’t hungry. But she still went into the kitchen to grab her lunch money. Then she picked up her bag in the living room and put on her etnies and left for the bus stop before her sister and brother. She didn’t feel like fighting with them so she put her headphones in and played Breathe Carolina songs until the bus picked them all up.

Finding a seat on the bus was easy considering Jess was one of the first stops. She sat in the seat 4 from the back. Just like always, and tried to fall asleep.

Her dreams were always the same. Of one of her best friends walking away from her when she needed them most, of her killing herself, or of someone she loved killing themselves and she couldn’t do anything to stop it. This morning was no exception. She would have screamed if Nick hadn’t sat on her.

“Good morning sunshine.” He said with a smirk on his face.

“Can you get off. I swear..” Jess didn’t finish. He stood up, even though the bus was moving and let her slid over before sitting back down. She took one headphone out so she could hear him better.

He was going on about how he made a new song on guitar and put lyrics to it. She loved hearing his songs and couldn’t wait to listen to it. But she couldn’t really focus on what he was saying. She was too busy thinking about Andrew. This always happened. She remembered the first time they hung out a year ago..No. She thought to herself. Stop thinking about him, its not healthy. She finished. To take her mind off of things (and to make her focus on what Nick was saying until his girlfriend came on) she picked at her lime green and black nails.

“I really hate those colors.” Nick said.

“I really don’t get why.” She said, rolling her eyes.

“You know why. Those are his colors. That’s why.”

“So? And I like them. I really don’t get why you hate him so much.” She said shifting her backpack so she was hugging it. She looked out the window at the passing trees. They were almost to school.

Nick stayed silent. He always did when she asked or brought up how much he hated Andrew. She guessed it was because of ‘how much he hurts her and uses her’.

They pulled into the school parking lot.

“Why didn’t your girlfriend get on today?” she asked him.

“Umm...I don’t know...She didn’t sound good on the phone last night so maybe she’s sick, why?” he said. She could hear the tension in his voice.

“Just wondering..” She said remembering she left her phone at home. It was going to be a long day without it.