Hi everyone, I'm Karl, I'm 27 years old and from Kent. Just wanted to introduce myself and tell you a bit about why I've joined this forum.
Since a young age I have struggled with self-esteem, thought I was different to other people and that I didn't fit! At about 22 years old I started believing it was a lack of intellect, that I didn't see things how they are, that people could see things in social situations, life in general that I didn't.
I now feel like because of this lack of ability I'm unatractive to girls, in capable of being funny or just to uphold good longstanding relationships with girls and friends. I always feel like my brain wont allow me to see things the way they are, or to loosen up. I'm anxious in social situations because it feels like everyone can have a laugh and get on but I doubt my abilities and am constantly monitering whether I'm stupid or missing something so even when I am getting on with people I 'm always waiting for myself to mess up somehow or looking for how I'm different.
I feel there is a strong side to my character that is waiting to come out, that believes in myself. I suspect that upbringing and experiences have a lot to do with the way I feel about myself and really want to do something to change the way I see myself so I can start enjoying life, having friends, being in social situations without the anxiety and having the confidence to attract a decent girl and have a happy relationship with someone!
I 'm sorry for ranting about myself, its just I would really appreciate any help I can get as I'm sick of feeling like this, I just want to be at peace and have contentment and I feel I have to share this information in order to get that help.
Thankyou for taking the time to read this and I look forward to talking to new people on here.
Hi there Karl I'm Sarah welcome to RYL!
I'm sorry you have to deal with these problems, it sounds really difficult. Have you any support at all?
I hope you find the support and help you're looking for here on RYL, if you need anything please feel free to PM me and I'll try my best to help.
Xxx
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
There are a variety of conditions that can lead to problems with social situations; the most obvious one being Social Anxiety Disorder (see threads here, here and here for example). You didn’t say whether you were seeing anyone so my next question would be have you talked to your doctor about how you are feeling?
The first step to recovery is recognising that there is a problem. Welcome to RYL, I hope that you get what you need from the site.
HtF
Last edited by HandThatFeeds : 18-11-2009 at 07:37 PM.
Reason: formatting
Hi, Thankyou for your responses and welcomes! yes i've been to my gp and discussed it with him, filled out an assessment form and they are going to put me on the waiting list for councelling. I am also going to begin councelling sessions next week with a charity company named Waymark Trust who provide it at an affordable rate!
I'm looking forward to getting help this way as i believe it will really benefit! I think your right about maybe a touch of Social Anxiety linked to a low self image I would also say!
I do believe I can conquer this. I dont think the fact I've just split up with my girlfriend of 14 months is helping. I know it was destructive as she had BPD traits,, depression and PTSD and needed a lot of support. She also didnt work so this put a big financial as well as emotional stress on me.
I am now living back with my grandfather temporarily until I can get myself back into a stable plumbing job and afford my own place. Am also at college studying level 3 in Plumbing having completed the level 2. Work is a problem at the moment as there doesnt seem to be much about,.. Also someone hit my car the other day and took the front bumper off, i've managed to get it back on but one of the lights is not working now due to the cables being ripped apart!!!!! Dont think these stresses are helping the situation lol!
I think if I can get myself back into work with a regular income, get the car fixed and get financially stable it will take a lot of the burden off, then I can focus on the self-esteem issues 100%.
I hope I can also help anyone else on here is some way, I am a caring person and would like to be able to give something back to this community rather than just taking advice so if anyone wants to chat feel free to PM me.
Hey Karl Welcome to RYL :)
Thats great that you have taken that first step and gone to your gp to start getting some counselling,I hope that goes well for you.
Sorry to hear that someone hit your car,hopefully you will get that fixed soon and not have to worry about it.
Yeah jobs are few are far between at the moment aren't they,dont give up though,just keep looking and something will come along eventually.
If you ever need someone to talk to,even if you just need someone to listen while you have a rant then feel free to PM me anytime.
Take care
*hugs*
I was indeed born and then broken. But I am living proof that broken can recover a life worth living.
I know how you feel, I've never been able to attract anyone and hold down a relationship! So good for you for taking the first step to changing everything!
Welcome! I'm Liz, and if you ever need to talk or anything, feel free to pm me. I used to be like that in social situations too, but it kinda went away as I forced myself to be around people. Now it comes up rarely. I think it's great you're getting counseling. Hopefully that goes well. Sorry to hear about your gf, that's always hard when two people both have mh issues. But someone else is out there waiting for you, it just may take time. Work on yourself first, then work on a relationship. You're most important!
Hi everyone, thankyou for your supportive words. Things have changed a little. My grandfather who I live with at the moment has just bought me a van so the transport things# isn't such a worry now. Will be able to get to work when work comes up. Hope when work picks up and i've got my own place supporting myself, my confidence will grow however still feeling really crappy about losing my ex. Everyone said she was no good for me but I still loved her. She says she really misses me and cant stop thinking about me. We met up last Sunday and spent the day together as I dropped some of her stuff down. Having spent the evening and the next day together we parted both in tears after having a long discussion. Its complicated but because she's so paranoid when in a relationship with me, she says she cant be dealing with that on top of her mental health problems, she says she needs to get them sorted. I know shes seeing this guy in Rochester but she says it s only because she knows she'll never love him and its just a company thing because she needs to feel wanted
I understand this in a way and deep down I think I know this girl will be no good for me. None of my family or friends were keen on her but I always felt I could read between the lines and see beneath the surface with her. I thought she just needed love and support and help through her issues thats shes dealing with. I guess I really enjoyed how much she loved me too! She made me feel I could do anything and with her there I was the happiest I've evr been!
I'm so confused. I 'm struggling with my self confidence as it is. ,Like at college, all the lads were having a laugh and I couldn't join in because I felt I was'n't intelligent enough and couldn't really get involved. I came away feeling really down that day and felt like I have nothing to offer socially (Thursday!)
I just feeling like I'm not funny, entertaining. I keep thinking about how I would like to be in social situations. I just want to be able to have fun, get along with people, enjoy peoples company and be entertaining and funny but I just cant find the resources! I feel people think I'm wierd, I wonder if I am too! Dont know what to do. Got an assessment on Wednesday for councelling sessions. Hopefully they will help!
I'm really sad atm and feeling quite useless. I decided not to go out tonight and I'm not drinking on weekends because I'm wondering if laying off getting drunk on the weekends will help.
Hope everyone else is ok anyway, thankyou for taking the time to read my rant. I really felt I needed to get this out, maybe get some advice or perhaps someone else is going through something similar or has been through something similar and recovered, that would be encouraging!!!!!!
