I have 2 months left of school. I don't want to ruin those by falling out over something like this. But she can't accept that my views are my views and that just because she has an opinion on something it doesn't mean everyone else does.
To be honest, I would just say light heartedly "Look stop being an ass about it, and let's not forget the most important thing is that we are friends and that [enter friendship memory here]" that or I would say "Look this is ruining our friendship so lets just not mention it okay?"
Most my friends believe the complete opposite to me, we just refuse to talk about it because whenever we do we (well I, actually, it's normally just me) get upset and we (well normally they) get offended. I think if your belifes are strong enough it stops being a topical debate and it starts getting more personal, because everyone can feel slightly attacked because the issues can often be ones that really affect people personally.
Me and my friends now have a no talking politics, no talking animal rights, no talking immigration, no talking about religion rule. Which is a shame, actually, but it's stopped us from breaking friends just about so it has something in it I guess.
To be fair though I'm not a good friendship advice person, as - as far as friends go - I'm not a good one.
:p good luck though, I hope you two work it out.
Last edited by Alcohol Induced Altruism : 05-05-2007 at 03:55 PM.
Hunger only for a taste of justice, hunger only for a world of truth, for all that you have is your soul.
I agree with the above too. At the end of the day its an opinion. your friendship surely means more than that. If it doesnt then perhaps it was never the friendship you thought it was. Just agree to disagree and hug or whatever it is you gals do and go do some skipping or something :P
*awaits slap*
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
It depends how heated any sort of conversation gets as to whether I'd say just not discuss it any more. If every time something comes up it ends up falling into bitchiness, personal comments and stuff like that, then I'd agree with other people, talk to the friend and say that you're not prepared to be bickering over something that actually doesn't need to affect your friendship.
If it's the thing where you end up going round and round in circles, I'd actually say keep discussing, if and when it comes up. If your friend is so set in her views that she can't accept yours, maybe it's that she just can't understand yours and so keeps asking and going over it, so she can get her head round it, and then it'll no longer be an issue - does that make sense?
I say that because it's how I used to be with a couple of my friends who are religious. We like a good discussion in my friendship group anyway, and one time we were talking about the freewill debate, I think, and I really didn't understand how they could believe what they believed. So I brought it up a lot and argued against what they were saying a lot until I understood. I'm pretty sure at times I must have looked like I was bringing it up just to try and prove that I was right and they were wrong, but I really wasn't.
I don't like this thing of just not discussing controversial topics if you have differing opinions, I think you'd miss out on a lot if you didn't. But in saying that, I'm lucky in that I have very tolerant friends who I can have a good debate with and know we'll still be friends at the end of it. I suppose if I didn't, I might think differently. I don't know what my conclusion is from all of that but hopefully it'll be some food for thought if nothing else!
It depends entirely on how important any given belief is to you and to her. There are things more important than friendship, and I am prepared to sacrifice friendships for the sake of integrity. I can think of several things that if someone believed them, I would not remain their friend. There aren't many, mind, and it hasn't happened yet-but there are things.
I'd steer well, well clear of rules about not talking about x or y or z. Religion and politics and philosophy and worldview are what life is about, and by refusing to discuss them everything becomes a little bit more pointless. Why be friends with someone if you've nothing in common?
If the problem is that she can't discuss the issue without attacking you *personally*, then drop her anyway. If she's not mature enough to understand that in a discussion you attack the *issue* and not the *person*, she's not worth having as a friend.
I know I'm harsh. I know I'm a bitch. But politics and ethics and above all integrity are important. Hell, you can always find new friends.
I think it depends on a combination of things Abi is right that thing's like politics are important but I think friendship is more important and it is a two way thing alway's has been alway's will be.
LaurA's suggestion's are good and agreeing to disagree can be useful it may not solve anything huge but it stops the convo's and the ban can be useful in raising awareness that there is an issue.
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
