Triggering (SI/Suicide) - Forced to switch counsellors *also trig OD*

lifeasasymptom · 15-11-2009, 01:36 PM

Okay.

So I go to a public youth health service for all my problems. I have a case-manager (counsellor) and doctor there (psych). I've been seeing the same people for four months now, and I have great difficulty switching between counsellors etc due to some extremely bad past experiences.

Because I'm apparently getting worse ('severe' SI; numerous ODs; suicide attempts), I have been told that I have to switch case-managers and doctors. (Like, no choice - switch them or switch clinics all together or just don't go back. Full stop. And they'd already made me an appointment with this new case-manager before they even told me about all this.)

But I'm really tempted to just throw it all in and not go back. I can't deal with having to re-explain my situation to two new people, and to be honest I'm really starting to think that I'm not going to get better, so why bother? The only positive thing about this service is that I'm not wasting my parent's money and that I get my meds for free (though I have to pick them up twice a week). That and I probably can't go back to the private system because last time I was in it, I got kicked out for being too sick and I've become worse in the last 18 months.

But I'm at the stage where I just don't even want the help anymore, I just want to die, and I feel guilty about taking up my spot when someone else really needs it (no joke, there's like a 6 month waiting period to get in - which also means they try to push you out the other end as soon as possible). But one of my friends killed herself only 2 months and 3 weeks ago, and I saw how it tore her family apart and I don't want to do that to mine - I don't want to cause them anymore hurt.

I just don't know what to do, how to make the best of this. So, opinions? At this stage I'll just turn my phone off and sleep all day Wednesday (when my appt is supposed to be).

PassedExpectations · 15-11-2009, 02:57 PM

You could give them a try... you don't know, they may have told the new doctors about the bad stuff so that you don't have to reexplain it. Or you could ask them to do that.

*hugs*

Shenanigans · 15-11-2009, 03:56 PM

*hugs* I can understand your situation hun, as I've moved quite a bit over the past 2 years I've seen god know how many different doctors and psychs and things. It becomes such a struggle to keep explaining things over and over again.
Perhaps you could write everything you think they need to know down in a letter and then they can read it and work from there. They will have your case notes as well, but it can be really positive to have everything explained to them in your own words and ways as well as from the notes your team will have made.
Try and look at this with a positive frame of mind if you can love, they're changing your councelor so you have the best help for you and your situation. I understand it's difficult once you get used to the same people, but different people have different ways of approaching problems and perhaps this new team will be able to sort out the support that will really be the key to getting better and feeling better?
Take care love, I hope you feel able to go
Xxxx

lozza · 15-11-2009, 11:07 PM

I know its hard hunni but please give the new people a chance... you never know... the new case manager may be a lot better than stupid old bec?

*cuddles* thinking of you heaps and am here if I can help at all.

lozstar88 · 20-11-2009, 12:28 PM

I love you, you know that!
I don't want to lose you, I can't lose you!!!

I know if Kat was here she wouldn't want you to go either...I need you here on Earth, so do all your other friends and family.

I'm so sorry about your situation with Mark and Bec, they have treated you so unkindly and their double standards are killing us...why you and not me? I want you to go back to Orygen...but under your terms and not their stupid ultimatiums

love you xxoooxxx

frizzly · 20-11-2009, 01:46 PM

im sorry youve (both) been treated like this by them :(
wish i had better words for you.
but please know that you ARE loved and people need you here... and we'll stand by you and do what we can to help...
maybe give the new people a chance? huggles.
please hang in there sweetie.