Triggering (SI) - I think about it all the time! *Might be triggering for suicide too*
I think about cutting/hurting myself/killing myself an awful lot. Even when Im not upset about anything I just wanna harm myself in any way just becuase of all the self-hatred. I dont know why but I feel lost when I don't cut for a few days.. I mean if I dont do it for a few days thats good right? Then why do I feel like I need to? Even when Im not in a bad mood I want to harm myself. I want the pain, I want to see the blood, i want to cause myself damage!
I really dont understand this.
I think about suicide too. Even when I'm not upset I think about how I would do it, where I would do it and everything. I think about how I would get enough pills. I keep thinking about taking pills as a form of self-harm(Would it class as self-harm?) You know... taking pills but not enough to kill me.. just to damage my insides a little. I want to do anything I can to damage any part of me in anyway. I want to make myself sick, to damage my insides also.
This really worries me.
Earlier without really thinking I was daydreaming about suicide. Who in the world daydreams about killing themself!! I wasnt even in a bad mood, I was perfectly fine. I was just picturing how it would happen in my mind.
This is really bad isnt it?
If you find yourself thinking about suicide, just even think of one person who will miss you. After having gone through a family member's suicide last year, i know i could never put anyone i knew through what i went through.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. there is a brighter day.
Nobody wants to help me. My friends try but they can only do so much.
I have a shrink and he knows about my self-harm and suicidal feelings, but he's said nothing about it. And he's done nothing. I think he thinks im not worth the effort. Or maybe he thinks I dont need help.
I hope you're still okay! I just saw this post! There is a difference between having occasional, mild suicidal thoughts and having persistent, daily thoughts. I think that if you stress to your psychologist that you think about it more than usual he will take it more seriously. If not, then you should find a new one. If a therapist is not helping you, you will likely have better luck with another one. Sometimes personalities just don't work well together. You can be helped and you deserve to feel good. Have you told your friends that you've been feeling more suicidal lately? There is only so much they can do, but at the same time, that can be a lot if you completely open up to them and LET them help.
There has to be someone who cares about you...even if it's a friend, teacher, sibling. Sometimes it's just hard to see who cares when you have so much hate toward yourself. Trust that people care.
I know what you mean about not being upset but still having thoughts/feelings regarding self harm. It happens. It's not something you should feel bad about, but recognize it as a tip that you need more help than you're getting.
Try calling a crisis line if you're feeling in danger. You can pm me if you want to talk. Truly, I'd be happy to listen and try to help.
Please stay safe, hun. -hugs-
Just what am I supposed to say?
And tell you why I turned out this way?
Don't make me. Don't make me.
I know what you mean... Even when I'm... I wouldn't say happy but... Feeling okay, it's always there... At the back of my mind... I agree with evfreak42 - if you don't think your therapist is helping you then maybe you should speak to someone else. As for your friends, yes there is only so much they can do, but... Sometimes just knowing that they're there for you is enough. You've gotta keep believing that eventually things will get better. It's a lot of hard work, and it might take a long time, but you WILL get there. And when you do, it's so, so worth it. xx
Hey.
Thanks for replying guys.
I dont really know how to reply right now.. My brain is like mush.. I cant think straight.
Just so you know I apreciate you replying. I'll try reply properly later.
im like that too!! i have thought about taking pills...i have tought about suicide acouple of times i have tried it. i think about it when im happy and worse whrn im sad im confused but i have been told to focus on the positives and not the negatives and its really hard...i dont no how to
