A thumping pain spreading across the back of my
head brings me around. My vision is fuzzy and cloudy as i
slowly become conscious.
Looking around while the fogginess fades,
i see a rusty iron ceiling that were used for Anderson sheltures,
with long metal link chains hanging from the ceiling.
The walls are rust red coloured bricks,
which have dark patches and mould
growing on them from age.
The doors appear to be heavy metal garage type doors
and heavy metal security doors with huge metal padlocks.
Im lying on a cold hard concrete floor and greeted at the
site of 20 strong muscular, rough looking men,
with at lest 7 sporting shotguns in full view,
cleaning them, playing with them.
Suddenly a weedy looking man, who is wearing a crisp black suit,
long gold chains and shiny black shoes that i can
see my badly beaten face on, appears over me,
grinning a wide tooth filled smile, pointing a handgun in my face.
"Well Well Well" the weedy man says in a thick heavy voice.
The rest of the men are now slowly walking towards us,
all stroking there guns, all wearing black suits and wearing
shiny mirror like shoes. The weedy man waits till all the
other men are upon us, before he continues with a even
bigger full smile bleach white teeth grin,
"I told you and warned you oh so many times
not to mess with me Mr James, but you didnt listen
and now you will feel the consequences."
A low slow deep evil Hahaha cackle erupts into the room.
That when i wish i'd never ran away and met this man.
Chapter 2.
Waking up in my pitch black bedroom i see my clock.
It's nearly midnight. Suddenly i remember what day it is,
February 14th 2005.
My Birthday.
I slowly roll onto my side, trying to hold back the tears.
I cant hold back no more and brake down
into huge loud sobs of hurt, pain and sadness.
In my parents room i hear my dad being disturbed by my cries.
In my fear of waking him up, i roll onto my front and
bury my head deep into the pillow, just wishing this pain
and sadness would go away.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : May be Triggering. Includes Violence and Abuse
I’m startled awake by my father jumping onto me, pinning me onto my bed.
I’m so afraid. What will he do to me this year?
I’m transfixed into looking into his near black shiny eyes.
So full of rage and anger. I want to look away but cant.
The sun is rising, the light shines though the gap in my curtains,
blinding me for a minute, braking the eye contact.
I feel myself shaking underneath my heavy dad.
“Happy Birthday SON! He sneers. “Here’s your 16th birthday present” and
with that he grabs my hands with one hand and twist
them around. I scream out in pain. He starts punching my face,
I cry out.
1….2….3….4….5….6….7….8….9
Im starting to black out.
He continues to punch me
10….11….12….
Mum hears my screams, she comes rushing in.
She tries to pull him off me, but he turns around and smacks her face,
knocking her to the floor. He turns my hands around even more.
The pain is blinding. Im trying so hard not to cry out
*CRACK*
I feel my tiny thin wrist brakes as he turns it even more. The pain shots up my arm like a blot of 10000 watts of electric.
I scream out.
13….14….15….16.
He lets go, leaving me semi-conscious, all bleeding and limp.
Every thing is fading.
Mums face is so full of fear as dad turns onto her next.
I see him dragging him by her hair into there room…
im blacking out, her screams echo in my head as he beats her hard.
"I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence. The quiet scares me because it screams the truth. Please don't tell me we had that conversation; I won't remember, save your breath cos whats the use?"
"Tell Them To Look Up, Tell Them To Remember The Stars. The Stars Are Always There But We Miss Them In The Clouds And Dirt, We Miss Them In The Storms. Tell Them To Remember Hope. We Have Hope"
-Renee Yohe-
RYL Family : )
[[oxymoron && ForeverFalling are my bigg sisters]]
I slowly come around. The room is dark and the house is cold. I feel so sick. Looking at the clock it reads 8:59pm. 'OMG!! I've missed the whole day!!....' I think.
All of a sudden the days events dawn on me.
I suddenly need to find mum
I need to see if shes ok!
I try to get quickly but the pain in my arm shots though like a wildfire of red-hot iron pokers.
I rolled onto my left side and throw up violently.
I feel so faint, so sweaty, so ill.
I slowly sit up, watching i dont hurt or touch my right arm or wirst.
I stand up, but my knees buckle landing on my cold hard concrete bedroom floor with a huge
*THUMP.*
I wince and cry out; Im seeing stars in front of my eyes.
I feel too weak to stand up so i crawl to mums room.
The long grey mouldy corridor seems to be growing longer with every painful movement.
Im starting to feel even fainter, the pain seems to be numbing.
I crawl into mums room and stop suddenly in shock and fear.
My eyes are wide eyed.
There lying in a pool of blood is my mother.
Chapter 5.
Im sitting on my knees, crying and shaking.
Im in the door way of my parents room.
The room is small with only a bed and a single door wardrobe.
The bed is a basic matress on the floor with one pillow and a blanket,
and the wardrode has one door missing and filled with lots of chains and canes and sex items.
Mums spare cloths, 1 top, 1 jumper, 1 pair of jeans, and a pair of kickers,
were folded neatly in the corner of the dirty dust filled room.
The walls that were once a white colour have been
replaced with grey dirty mould covered walls.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Might be triggering
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Might be triggering
The floor is a cold hard grey concrete that now
has a pool of blood covering most of it, and mums limp, cold,
half naked, badly beaten body lying amongst the dirt and blood.
I slowly crawl to her; to afraid to touch her frail staved body.
She looks dead,
The following content has been hidden - Reason : might be triggering
her skin is covered in blood but the pale white skin shines though so clear.
Big black purple bruises are starting to cover her pale white skin.
I suddenly feel sick. I spin around on my knees and surprisingly throw up so much,
even thou i havent been allowed to eat in 2 days.
I feel so light headed, so weak.
I slowly turn to face mum.
Im blacking out.
I lay down next to mum, my nose so close to her face.
i put my hand on her once delicate pink cheeks.
i feel her long soft silky natural blond hair.
Everything is fading.
I feel so much rage.
"How Dare he do this to her?"
The rage is using the last of my energy but i dont mind.
If im to die from weakness then im glad im here next to mum, smelling her sweet gentle flowery perfume.
"Im sorry mum, im so sorry...."
Chapter 6.
My vision is looking though fog.
Theres something blowing air on my face.
Lots of luminous jackets around me.
"Where am i?" i crock.
"Its going to be alright, your safe" said a luminous jacket. "Im a paramedic."
"Save my mum, leave me and save mum"
The paramedic continues to speck but his words are all blurred and faint....
Everythings going black....
Fading.....
Im coming around.
The ceiling is bright white.
"Am i in heaven?"
Someone appears next to me. A young women.
She has dark hair and deep sea blue eyes.
"No dear, your in hospital. Your going to be all right"
Then i notice the nurses outfit.
"Im a nurse, Mathew and my names Polly."
I look around, I see so many machines.
My wrist is elevated and in a bright white caste.
"Mum!!" I shout, "Wheres mum, is she dead?"
Im sobbing and shaking, ripping the tubes out of my arm, ripping the oxygen mask off my face.
Polly rushs to me, trying to calm me down.
"Mathew, Calm down. Your going to hurt yourself. Your mums alive"
I stop.
"Mums....alive?" i ask in disbelief.
"Yes dear, shes alive but really poorly."
She smiles sweetly at me.
"How long have i been here?"
"A week. You were so poorly but now your getting better."
Her face expression changed slightly.
"Mathew.... The police are here to speak to you."
"I want to see mum!" Polly responds
"I will take you to her but first the police really need to speck to you about what happened, Is that ok?"
My face fell.
"fine"
Two strong policemen walk in.
One policeman was about 30, tall and thin but very muscular,
He had brown hair, high cheek bones, chocolate brown eyes and red plump lips.
The second officer was about 50, silver grey hair, wrinkles around his hazel eyes and thin pink lips.
"Mathew James?" the older officer asks.
"yeh?......."
"we would like to ask you some questions. is that ok?"
I feel so small and so venerable infront of these men.
"ummm ok" i mumble.
Grr, This is soo good.
I Can't Wait to read more
xx
: )
"Tell Them To Look Up, Tell Them To Remember The Stars. The Stars Are Always There But We Miss Them In The Clouds And Dirt, We Miss Them In The Storms. Tell Them To Remember Hope. We Have Hope"
-Renee Yohe-
RYL Family : )
[[oxymoron && ForeverFalling are my bigg sisters]]
"No comment" "Mathew, dont you want justice? Even if its just for your mum" "I will only speak if my mother does" "You cant let the person who did this get away? Do you know the person?" "No Comment"
The younger policemen huffs looking slightly annoyed.
The older officer is looking at the younger man, as if to warn him to stop showing his annoyance. "If you change your mind Mathew, heres my card. Ok?"
He hands over his card.
Its on a small white piece of card.
The letters are small shiny black neat words.
I have trouble reading them but i figure out what most of it says.
PC David Jones. 07746 238976.
"Remember Mathew, you can call anytime"
With that they turn and walk away, hands behind there backs, walking up straight, noses in the air one foot in front of the other.
I see dad.
Im shocked and scared. Will he hurt me again?
Im shaking. He sees the police and quickly walks to me, his face full of rage.
As he walks into my cubical he looks around, to check no ones looking.
With that he roughly pulls the curtain closed and walking immensely quick.
Im scared but i cant move.
He grabs my head and pulls it back so hard my neck clicks.
He pushes his hand over my nose and mouth. I cant breath.
"Did you say anything to the pigs??? DID YOU!!" He snarls in my ear.
I shake my head.
He eyes were black as the night sky.
I can smell booze on her neck.
With that he pulls a bit of bottle out of his pocket and holds it to my neck
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Triggering
"I swear Mathew, if i even get the whiff of the pigs near the house, i will come back and slice your throat open and watch you bleed to death. DO YOU HEAR ME!!!"
Im trying to hard not to cry but the tears are leaking without my permission.
I want them to stop. i dont want to appear afraid or scared infront of him. i dont want to appear a coward.
"Watch your back Mathew, if you step one foot out of line i will come back for you, i will come back for you then finish of that slut you call a mother also."
He turns and storms out of the ward.
I brake down and cry. Why me?
Im sobbing uncontrollably.
Polly walks in fast, but slow at the same time, with a look of concern on her face. "Mathew .... Is everything ok?" "LEAVE ME ALONE!!" I cry out more, in a distressed state.
I cant breath; my chest is tight im panicking.
The machine next to me is going haywire "Mathew. You need to calm down" she says sternly but in a concerned way.
More people are running in. "Mathew, listen to me. You need to calm down."
I cant calm down.
Im so scared about what he might do to mum.
I can still feel his hand on my face, as if its still suffocating me.
Polly's voice seems to be echoing and floating in the distance....
"Mathew? ..... Listen to my voice....Mathew? .... Can we get some oxygen in here.....Mathew?.."
Chapter 8.
*FLASHBACK*
Im standing infront of the mirror. Im 6 years old. Mum and Dad are having a blazing row.
I look into the mirror and look at my room. My walls are painted blue; the floor is dark blue carpet which is slowly turning brown from the dirt on it.
On my bed is mums birthday/Christmas present. Its the 25th of December. I feel awful about the way i got her pressent. i shouldnt be bad, i shouldnt be the devil. Maybe dads right, maybe i am a nasty brat who deserves pain. I look at my self in the mirror. what i see staring back makes me so sad. I see a small under weight boy with big black bruises covering his body. I can smell alcohol so strongly. I know dad must be near. Suddenly mums shouting.
"NO! NOT TODAY. PLEASE STOP!" "Hahaha Why should I? I am your husband and i will take what i want!!" "NO!" I hear a huge bang as mum is thrown against the wardrobe. Shes sobbing and shouting louder "Please dont. Please Jonathan, Mathews only next door dont let him hear this"
*SLAP*
"I Dont give a ****! about that devil spawn child you conceive you SLUT! He will learn about stuff like this one day so he can **** off to hell!" "But please Jonathan. Hes your son"
*WACK*
Mums head has been hit against the wall. Shes sobbing so hard "NO STOP!" "If you wont give it to me i will take it!!" I hear mums body bouncing off the wall near me. Im so scared. I can hear the rattle of chains. Mums screaming, and crying.
"NO. DONT. STOP!!" "SHUT UP YOU BITCH OR ILL SHUT YOU UP"
*SLAP*
The following content has been hidden - Reason : triggering... contains rape
I hear the ripping of her cloths as shes chained to the wardrobe thats next to my room.
*BANG BANG BANG BANG*
Mums sobbing so hard
*WACK*
*BANG BANG BANG BANG*
Dads moaning out, i cover my ears but her screams are echoing in my head.
MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!! i pray "STOP!!!!!!!!!" I cry out. Dad storms into my room, naked. His eyes seem to be glowing red. "Your turn you nasty piece of ****" I know what is coming, my fate will be the same as mums.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : triggering
He runs at me pulling at my cloths.
"NO" A huge hand comes towards my face, its coming at me in slow motion.....
I sit bolt up right.
The sweat pouring off my face. I look around.
Im in hospital.... Im safe....
"As the blood is rushing to my head And from my wrists I'm in love with all the things I know I should resist And all the times you said to me Your falling down ones destiny A simple thought occurs to me I'm face down on the tracks The train is coming fast And you're right there waiting It's not the first time And this won't be the last That my heart is failing" Heart Failure lyrics by Sixx:A.M.
Im so sorry guys.... im sorry i havent wrote nothing in ages..
But i cant.... my mind doesnt work. so many bad feels going though me, stopping them. :(( im so sorry
Im letting you lot down. im sorry.
Ill try make my mind work.. might be crap thou.
Im really sorry
xx
Last edited by Kezzy92 : 19-11-2009 at 10:06 PM.
Reason: spelling
its okay sweety. just take your time. *big huggles*
<3 Katey
"As the blood is rushing to my head And from my wrists I'm in love with all the things I know I should resist And all the times you said to me Your falling down ones destiny A simple thought occurs to me I'm face down on the tracks The train is coming fast And you're right there waiting It's not the first time And this won't be the last That my heart is failing" Heart Failure lyrics by Sixx:A.M.
"I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence. The quiet scares me because it screams the truth. Please don't tell me we had that conversation; I won't remember, save your breath cos whats the use?"
