what scares me! **poss trig**

[cullengirl]

i have felt like this for 11 years since i was 13.. and i dont see a way out i dont see myself gettin better

i have a friend who is in her 60s who has been thro similar to me and she is still really struggling sometimes more than me, it scares me that i will have a lifetime of bein like this and i jus dont see the point

another 50-60-70years of this???

not fair

[Sigma]

*hugs* no words of wisdom I'm afraid, just hugs

[CagedBird]

I know what you mean, scares me too! I have a point (or should i say age) at which if things aren't any better i'll call it a day. But who knows that age may be pushed further and further back, it ain't a promise or garantee to myself (thankfully!). Are you seeing a therapist or getting any help for your MI because you don't have to stay in the same place you are now. What is that phrase -

“You can never step into the same river; for new waters are always flowing on to you.”


ps - what makes you think life is fair? I don't mean to sound antagonistic, i know this is probably just a remark made and means nothing but are you angry at someone for making your life the way it is now? Because that could be a starting point. take care.

[Stellata]

Things can always shift and change, especially when you get the right kind of support for you now.

Maybe your friend didn't get help, or the right kind of help for her, when she was your age. I know I had a lot to catch up on when I started treatment age 30 myself, and things had got more deeply embedded than they would have done had I started receiving the support I needed when I was a child, and when I had my first breakdowns in my 20s.

Depression tends to not let us see a way out.
And usually there isn't a way out, but a way through.

[Sigma]

my psychologist said something I found useful last week (and i shared it somewhere else so apologies if you've read it before!) - that thinking positive doesn't work if it's a false positive, because your mind knows you're lying. But 'today can be a little better than yesterday' and 'tomorrow can be a little better than today' are realistic positives. Best not to think about 'being better' or 'a way out' because that will make you feel worse... but what wold make today a little bit better than yesterday?

i hope you find the right support :)

[Merc]

Nothing I can really add; everyone said already, and much better than i could have!
Just want you to know i can relate to the feeling...and that with your friend, some therapies/knowledge weren't available and it was a topic that was even more 'touchy' than it is today.
Good luck
xx