Triggering (SI) - Psych appt. tomorrow, help please

-Shae-Lynn* · 05-11-2009, 10:57 PM

I went to my teacher today and told him that things really aren't going well. I'm struggling a lot to cope with even the little things. It's just not happening. It's a constant fight to not self-harm because I know the second I do I am going to take it wayy to far. I feel like i'm in a bubble and that it is about to pop. When it does the fall out is going to be catastrophic. I told my teacher this and he said that he wanted me to call my psych. To ask to see her as he didn't know what to do for me. I'm kind of frustrated with her at the moment because of last session, but it's because I analyse thing to much. I wasn't going to call, but he made me do it with him there so he knew I actually did it. I now have an appointment tomorrow morning at 10 and I am scared out of my mind.
I'm scared that inpatient is the only option left. I've already been at the psych twice this week, tomorrow will be number 3. I'm usually only there once every two weeks or every week. My parents don't know and do going inpatient would mean they would need to be told as I live with them.
I don't know what to tell my psych tomorrow.
I need more help but I don't know what I need to do to get it.
If I continue on like this, there are going to be very serious consequenses.
Any advice would be very much appreciated!

Stellata · 06-11-2009, 08:52 AM

What do you mean by how you 'analyse things too much'?

It's ok to have extra support whilst you're in crisis.
What if you tell her pretty much what you've told us?

Sigma · 06-11-2009, 11:24 AM

do you have an idea of what help would be useful - what might help you cope better?

-Shae-Lynn* · 06-11-2009, 10:04 PM

The appointment went well. I told her what was going on. She made an appointment with the psychiatrist so I can go on medicine to hopefully get things better under control. She said that if the medicine doesn't help make me better than I'm going to go into Day Hospital and then potentially full Inpatient if things really aren't getting better. The only problem is that the appt with the psych isn't until Dec 22. I'm not sure what that is going to do to the plan as she just emailed me to tell me I can't see him until the 22.

Sarika · 06-11-2009, 11:04 PM

Psychiatrists always have a long waiting list unless you get lucky with a private one, but when I was severely depressed and before I found my current pdoc I was put on a waiting list for 4 months to see a psychiatrist. I felt...I can't really explain how I felt but it wasn't good. What I did to make it until then is to keep in contact with my therapist often - whether it be appointments or phone calls or whatever. I also was in contact with a counselor at school who helped me whilst I was at school in case a crisis popped up - though I hated this counselor at the time and did avoid her as much as possible it was good that someone was there. Personally I did alot of journaling at the time, looking back they are dark and quite scary but it helped alot at the time. I also made contracts with myself to not harm and if I did it would be controlled like how many cuts, etc (though I'm not saying it's okay to harm). I don't really have good memory of this state as I was so depressed that my mind has cut off most of the memories at this time so that's all I can remember doing.

If you truly cannot wait/cope until then I'd suggest voluntarily going into a day hospital/inpatient now. Before you do something is better than after you do something - when you go voluntarily then you get a say in your treatment like medications, if involuntarily you have no say in what happens.

Good luck.

-Shae-Lynn* · 07-11-2009, 01:48 AM

Thank you, Sarika. It really helps knowing that someone else has had to deal with the same type of stuff.
I emailed my Social worker about the wait times and everything and she said that she is going to put in a referral for day hospital. She wants what is best for me and at the time that is this. I'm doing group now once a week, seeing my social worker and my teachers know what is going on so hopefully I can hold off a little longer.
I won't know anything for a little while anyways. My social worker isnt back in the office until tuesday and I'm not sure if she sent the referral today or not. She just emailed so I'm not quite sure what is going to happen.