Return to work *updated - now happening Thursday could do with some support pease!*

[Sleepless123]

Well i had 2 weeks off under a doctors note for my mental health problems [currently put down as Depression and Anxiety though i dont really fit any specific box muchly apparently] and then went back for 3 days and then have ended up with another 4 weeks off cos i couldnt cope - i went back cos i was scared of taking more time off.

But now Thursday my sicknote runs out again.And i dont know what to do.Originally i was meant to see Occupational Health before i went back and we were going to try and get them to reduce my hours for a bit.And this may be in the process but i havent even had an appointment through from them yet.

And now i dont know what to do. i am worried if i dont go back as under their new sickness rules i should already be facing disciplinary procedures.i am scared of not going back and taking more time off.

My non NHS Psychologist says go back cos maybe it will distract me from some of the things which have happened recently in my life which are serving to upset me a great deal more than usual at the moment - though my life is always hard and i already take large quantities of tablets daily regardless anyway to try and hurt/kill myself which has escalated over time and can sometimes make me very weak.i am also currently considering taking a large OD again similar to what i did in July with other tablets which left me unconscious for quite some time.

But my CPN says dont go back at least till Occ Health have seen me and now i dont know what to do.

My GP has told me he is willing to sign me off again over the phone - he knows i am really not very well right now.

And my CPN says she doesnt think he would have a problem either [as she spoke to him last week cos he rang her concerned about other things] and that i should ask him to but what do i do?

i am scared of the consequences of if i take more time off but then can i cope with going back.

im scared of what they will do if i dont though.

So what do i do?

[Merc]

You def. take the time off. Your doc will verify that you cannot be there right now, so you have no worries.
They cannot do anything since you are covered by the sicknote.
You need this time to help yourself. Adding more stress (trying to manage work, when you really can't) will only make you worse.
Pls try not to OD. It really won't help.
Keep talking to your doc, try to get in ctc with HR..althought I think they should be ctc'ing you...
I know it is hard to admit that you can't manage it right now...but try to be as easy with yourself as you can.
Let us know ok?

[Sleepless123]

Thanks for the reply.

i spoke to Occupational Health today.They havent even received any referral yet then they would have to send an appointment, see me and do reports.

i spoke to my manager who said the referral has to go through HR before it can even go to Occupational Health so it is somewhere between them and HR.

She got a bit funny when i said i didnt know what would happen about whether i would come back tomorrow or not now and said she didnt realise it was a condition set by me or the GP that i had to see Occupational Health before i came back.

So ive said now that its most likely i will be in tomorrow.

i dont see what else i can do.

Its all taking so long and i cant cope with taking comments and problems from them like that too.

Not on top of everything else.

And im already very sensitive and vulnerable at the moment and yes maybe more so than i should be, more so than normal but i really cant handle things like that.

i feel i have to go back.

i feel i have no choice.But maybe it will be ok anyway.

Maybe the Psychologist is right and maybe it will be good for me.

i dont know but lets hope so.

Just scared.Whatever happens.When i get back.

[Stellata]

Do you have a disabilities rep?

[Sleepless123]

Hey thanks for your reply.

No not exactly a disabilities rep no.i do have an employment advisor who i was referred to by the mental health team who works for Remploy.i have a physical disability as well as mental health problems and cos of this my work place already know im disabled.And they do know i have mental health probs but not the extent.

Re the employment advisor i have met them twice but she was on holiday last week and i was slightly put off when i last saw her when she commented that 'i would quite like to take a month off right now too but you cant do that everytime you get a bit cheesed off sleepless.'

This upset me and has damaged my trust with her as actually i spent a long time trying not to take time off work before i did it and waited until things were really bad for me.

im not sure if she has just got the above impression from my CPN or cos i struggle to explain my situation but it really hurt me that she had it anyhow.

But then in the same conversation she insisted i had to contact her the following week with any developments even if she was on holiday cos it was really important and that she wanted to offer her support and do her best for me.im so confused.

Also cos as said above i had not managed to explain much to her as really struggle with this and not sure how much CPN had said just before she went away i tried to contact her explaining i had a history of suicide attempts and self harm and that what would work say if they found out the extent of this as they could now via medical notes i have to give them consent to see.

She never responded to this and now i am too scared to contact her again and am not sure i want to after what she said to me before.ive already felt really bad about being off and she just made it worse.

Also Romperfry - something i forgot to say in response to your very kind reply to me is that under our new sickness rules it does not matter if i have a sick note.They work on a mathematical thing called the Bradford Factor where i am now.Where they times the amount of occasions of sickness by the amount of days and when you reach a certain mathematical level ie number of points they can automatically choose to take disciplinary action against you.Regardless of doctors support or not.People have been unhappy with these new rules but it is how it stands right now.

My doctor has said before he thinks i should make people in management aware of the seriousness/severity of my problems and circumstance but is hard to do that without explaining why and all the tablets i take etc and i really dont want to go into that with them especially as i have already been told by a travel company recently i would be too ill to be allowed to ever travel with them again - it is too much of a risk now they know the extent of my problems [i wasnt best well when away.]And im worried my work may take a similar view if they knew quite the extent of how bad things are for me right now.That they would say its too much of a risk too.

i want my job.i love my job.It and the people there have done me good.But i dont know if i can cope.

Thanks for the replies.Sorry this is so long.

[startingagain]

Hi-Get a copy of their absence policy. It is usually graduated and it may be that if you go over the first level of absence they call a meeting with HR and this is not the same as a disciplinary meeting. Usually they then set targets and one of these is to contact OH. Sometimes you can self refer.
The medical form-you can see it, but you must go to your doctors to do this or they send it anyway-goes to OH and not to your employer. OH should then write to them saying that you are covered by the DDA and suggest reasonable adjustments. These are unfortunately just suggestions.
You may also find that you are allowed additional disability related absences.
Have you contacted access to work? They can provide support to your employer to enable you to stay in your job.
Hope this helps.

[Sleepless123]

Hiya yeah thanks i looked through their absence policy when i went back today on the company intranet [internal internet] and hope to print it sometime maybe too when my boss not around!!

Yeah thanks so much for the info and taking the time to write it out - i know the steps are graduated with respect to taking action cos of absence and performanace management etc and that not everything is always related to disciplinary things though they do have that option with me if they wish to take it cos of the amount of time i have now had off and their new rules with regard to the points system mentioned above.It has reached the level within that new system where they could take it down that route if they liked.

My manager today when i went back said that for now she is still thinking they wont though and it will be ok as it was a pre existing condition which has meant all the time off and that for now providing we go down the Occupational Health route hopefully i will escape for the time being.

When she chased our HR on my behalf they also explained to her that with Occupational Health now they tend to speak to people over the phone rather than face to face with a nurse ringing you instead.They have made this urgent for me now so should be in the next two or so weeks.

Access to work - i have little sight and am registered blind so i already had a lot of contact with them at the start of my employment as i need a lot of special equipment to enable me to do my job properly.They have been very good as have my employer also.Regarding my mental health if Access to Work were to get involved with that too/be asked for recommendations it is our Occupational Health department who would again need to refer me back to them when i get to speak to them i think.

My work do know about my mental health problems but not the extent as stated above.

i am glad i went back today.The people i work with are fab and when i can cope with it i really enjoy my job.i just hope i can cope with it and i guess all i can do now is wait nervously to see what happens and what comes of everything.

But i think im glad im back at least.

i know they have done their best for me and i am very grateful.i just hope i will cope and wont let them down.

Thanks for all the support.It still means so much to me.

[startingagain]

Glad you managed to go back .Don't put pressure on yourself by taking on the added worry of not wanting to let them down. You can't help being ill.

I had to contact Access to Work myself to self refer and then they contacted my work.

[CagedBird]

Everyone here has given you better advice than i ever could, and i'm glad to hear that being back at work has gone well so far and your collegues have been supportive. I just wanted to chime in with some understanding as i have had some difficulties with employers and pdr appointments in the past and they actually told me if i need anymore appts to take annual leave for it - which i won't be doing! It is so hard to cope with HR and OH and managers when you are unwell, i think you did brilliant contacting them and should be proud of how much you managed to do despite the very hard circumstances. I have always had difficulties with phoning in, i remember the worst time when i couldn't go to work because i was so ill but i couldn't phone them and tell them i was sick either because i was so depressed i couldn't talk...it was awful, i felt so bad. I was lucky a family member came around and did it for me that afternoon...but they weren't impressed obviously and understandably really. But it is so hard to deal with all the sick leave contracts when you can barely function. I really feel for you. I don't think i'd like just to speak to OH on the phone, i am really adversive to phones when i'm depressed which creates massive problems for me because even if i want to phone my GP i can't. I don't know why, i think it is the fear of having to sound together. Anyway i'l stop whittering on, I really hope that you manage to sort everything out and speak to OH and get some support.

[startingagain]

Cagedbird-again look at the absence policy. My HR allow you to take hospital appointments on pay if it is for cancer or disability related. Everything else is up to your employer.
You should also go to OH and ask for them to accept an email or text as your way of reporting your absence. This should be done as a reasonable adjustment.