I dont know what im asking out of this thread, maybe some advice on how to lift your mood?
ive been feeling so so low lately and suicide is constantly on my mind so much so that i am ruining my families lives again by saying im unsafe and then they get angry at me and i havent felt this bad for a few years now, most of my previous suicide attempts ive been very distressed but not this depressed!
i want to try and find a way out this without trying to kill myself because i keep making plans and then telling people and then being stopped and its got to stop!
im being put on anti depressents again next week but i know they take about 6 weeks to work and i just cant hang on that long! i mean i would have done something today if i hadnt been threatened with the police if i left the house!
ive tried watching tv and reading but the stuff that makes me laugh normally just doesnt anymore, ive tried seeing friends and im fine when im with them i cant pretend to be happy and bubbly but deep down im not and even that is starting to slip even my bubbly happyiness with friends is disapearing!
i just need to stop feeling so trapped and sad, its horrible and i feel like im suffocating but i need some relif now, i just cant wait!
I'm sorry things are so very rough right now. Also that ppl are getting mad at you for how you are feeling. Pls know tho, that they are just very worried and may not be sure how to help. That can often make ppl a little on edge, so pls, they don't mean to be angry, im sure, they are just scared and feeling helpless.
But you need to worry about you right now.
Can you ctc the doc who suggested re-trying meds and tell him/her how unsafe you feel right now?
Perhaps they can put some support in place? Maybe the Home treatment Team? The Crisis Team? Etc?
If you feel very unsafe, pls go to the ER (A&E) and ask to speak to the psych on-call.
It's great you are looking for ways to keep safe. But pls ctc someone, see if you can some bit of support for right now.
Let us know ok?
I understand why my parents are getting upset i am a total cow always suicidal and attempting things and lying to them so i understand it, it doesnt make it easier tho!
i cant go to a&e because i dont want to go back to hospital and im going away tomorrow anyway so i cant even have the home treatment team but thank you for your concern. I just have to live with my parents and mood for the next few days i guess
You are someone in pain, trying to find relief, Doesn't make you a bad person...makes you a person who needs a bit of support right now.
Would calling the crisis line be a possibility? You can call from soemwhere quiet/private..your room, etc.
Just to have an actual voice?
They will likely have some advice on helping your mood out and sometimes just being able to have a voice can be of help.
take care
That is absolutely horrible!! I would honestly be looking into lodging a complaint! She was totally unproffesional and simply cruel!
I really think calling the crisis line might help...you dont know them, they dont know you..you can say as much or as little as you want...
I know after the response you just received it is doubly hard to try and reach out again...I hope you can try tho.
You deserve to be listened to and treated with kindness and respect.
I'm sorry she behaved that way.
I would, but i already called up my cpn today in tears and she just told me to grow up and act like an adult, so they dont really care!
I read this and my instinct was a sharp intake of breath. That is completely uncalled for. Yet, unfortunately, I have been on the receiving end of similar comments (not put quite so bluntly). You don't need to grow up. Maybe some of your coping methods (like mine) are not emotionally mature but that does not mean you need to grow up, it means you need help to deal with and react to things in a more constructive and useful way.
*hugs*
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
its ok, she was probably right i am a spoilt little child! and i am ruining my parents and friends lives by being like this, i just cant seem to get out of this mood that has come over me in the last few weeks and its making me act and think irrationally and just plain mental running around crying and then geting angry and then crying again!
im so bad at phoning people up anyway, i find it really difficult so i really dont think i could it tonight, maybe if i get really bad again like i was this morning when everything kicked off then i might but i just dont know anymore i feel like ive lost the love and support of my family and now the support of my mh perfessionals just when i need them the most but then its all my fault in the first place i know i need to try and get better myself and i cant rely on other people but im just finding it so difficult to do anything at the moment, i am trying though although it may not seem like it!
I understand how hard it is, when you are trying, but no one seems to acknowledge it.
If making the call will stress you more , than don't.
I'm not good with the phone right now either.
Do yo uhave any friends you could call? Just for a chat?
Can you keep safe tonight?
xx
i have to keep safe, my bag has been taken away from me with the pills and money in, so i couldnt even buy anything and all the doors are going to be locked! there are still ways of hurting myself and i know that but im trying not too i dont want to hurt my family even more! my dad just said "polly enjoys her life really, she enjoys tourturing us" im a horrible person! i am trying but they dont seem to care or even take it in! I didnt get to sleep till 4 last night i just lay there not sleeping making plans so if i do that again i dont know if i will be able to keep safe! but i cant tell my parents they already hate me at the moment! and i cant call my friends i dont want to worry them more then i already have, and i know they hate me too so they probably wouldnt answer!
i dont have any advice, sorry.
but i do undertstand how you feel with the suicidal thing, n if i ring my cpn n tell her how i feel she says she will ring the next day to check on me but she never does, she has never rang me back or when she says shes guna ring. i guess what im saying is that your not alone, i know that doesnt help much but..yea... anyways *hugs*
I can understand parents being scared and maybe not reacting very well...but this is beyond that. I'm sorry they are so unsupportive to you. Mine were the same, they felt ridiculing/treating you liek **** would make everything better. Never understand that theory.
You are not a horrible person. if you were, you woulndt be sparing a thought to how they feel, how your actions would affect them.
Do you feel ble to sleep soon? I hope with not having much sleep last night you will be able to sleep tonight.
ETA: not always, but sometimes, iit helped me to write out everything that was in my head, then to rip it up. To just be 'done' with it. Even for just long enough to sleep...not sure if that might help?
but then its all my fault in the first place i know i need to try and get better myself and i cant rely on other people but im just finding it so difficult to do anything at the moment, i am trying though although it may not seem like it!
