Triggering (SI) - Just looking for a bit of advice. . .

tierra04 · 01-08-2007, 02:44 PM

Hey guys. . .I don't really post all that much here, but I figured I'd give it a try. Not sure how to start things off without rambling and jumping from subject to subject, but I've been struggling with SI for 11 years now. I've been hospitalized 3 times, in and out of therapy for years. I'm now back in therapy, and my therapist thought it would be a good idea for me to start going to this group for people with addictive behaviors. Well I did, and felt like a freak, because there are only 5 people in this thing, 4 of which have drug problems. While a lot of the same things still apply, it's still just strange. Well I went to group last night, to find out there is now an intern observing, which weirds me out in itself. Once I actually looked at her, I realized who she was. I went to school with girl for years. Not one whom I got along with. Needless to say, I don't plan on going back until she is gone. I don't want to be bitchy about this, but last night, I didn't say two words, and if that's how it's going to be for a few weeks, I have better ways to spend that hour and a half.
I'm also struggling with the decision of whether or not IP would be beneficial right now. I know it more than likely would, I just can't find the time to go. I know how stupid that sounds, but I have work, which I won't have to worry about after next week.
I'm finding myself close to an edge I have no desire to be around. While I don't have any plans to do anything stupid, I've become careless, and I really wouldn't care if anything happened anyway. It's a scary place to be, and I don't like it. I don't like scaring myself, because I'm not one to scare easily.
Anyway, I just don't know what to do. Thought I'd look for some advice around here. Thanks for listening to me bitch guys. Heh.

Sans Peur · 01-08-2007, 06:16 PM

hey tie

*big squishy cuddles*

I am sorry that things are tough for you at the moment.You have talked to me about IP to me before and i beleive it will be good for you.I know you havent been feeling great and IP will help you cope with life a bit better.

Do you think you could speak to your therapist about how you are feeling about the group therapy?being in agroup of people that are not having similar problems as you and then having someone you dont like there will not help you at all.I can understand how it would make you feel.Are there any other groups therapy sessions you could join,maybe one that is more suited to you?

Tie, you are a good friend of mine and its hrad to see you feeling like this.It is scary when you feel like you dont care about what happens to you.This feeling does pass though.I do think IP would help you, work shouldnt stop you from getting help.Maybe try doing things you enjoy to bring some happiness back into your life? why not try and arrange a night out with friends, maybe the cinema or bowling.. something fun?

Are there any family members that you feel are able to talk to about how you are feeling?ithink with extra support from family and friends thngs may become easier.can you think of anything that has triggered you to feel this low?

I wish i had something more helpful to say tie.I amhere for you if you need to talk about this.

*hugs*

jane x

Merc · 01-08-2007, 06:19 PM

I can understand your feelings towards your group now; I wouldnt go either. But maybe it would be best to let the one in charge know why so they dont think you have just given up on it.
I know the place you are in, and you're right; it is very scary.
You say work won't be a problem after next week...could you look at IP then? From what you say it sounds like you know you need this safety rightnow, good for you for recognizing that!
If you could go next week it sounds for the best.
Please let us know...and we're always ahppy to listen, it's why we're here. Keep posting if it helps?
PM too if you like
romp