i feel so awful for posting as it has been forever since i last posted. but i really really need help. i don't know what to do. this is going to be really long and i'm sorry, but i need to get this off my chest.
the other night our flat had a party, everyone was drinking and stuff, all was going well, we were all buzzing, and then at the end of the party me and one of my flat mates were just chilling out in his room chatting (and as we are mates this is normal) and then out of the blue he tried to kiss me so i pushed him away and the next thing i knew he had pushed me onto his bed and he forced himself upon me. i told him no, i didnt want to. but he told me to shush and chill and that no-one needed to know but us. so again i said no, its wrong, we are flatmates and i dont want to. but he wouldn't listen, he said i wasnt going anywhere and neither was he, and we were gonna have sex. so i got really angry pushed him off me and he kept trying to grab me so i pushed him and he pretty much just passed out on his bed cos he was so wasted and i ran to my room.
now i feel so sick and disgusting. i don't know what to do. i've been hiding in my room for 2 days. how am i meant to face him. i've heard him an his mates going past my room saying is she gonna sulk in there all weekend. im not sulking i can't face him. im shaking and feel sick. i have to face him at some point. we live together. he's acting like its my fault. i did nothing to lead him on nothing. and yet he can hold his head high and right now i just want to cut. i want to die. im a mess. i must deserve this. maybe it is my fault.
i really don't know what to do
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh
