new car.... and everything just hurts

[lozza]

well today I got my new car and driving home this arvo... everything just started sinking in....

and well I dont know... things right now - I just cant keep doing it

I lost my car last week and now I have a new one... and people just think... hey look, things are all good again... and so here I am just moving on with life - but I CANT keep doing it... I am going to break one day and I just CANT keep doing it

I just dont know what to do... everything hurts and I just cant do it anymore

I am not sure what I am needing, asking for... just had to get this out somewhere... tell someone

[Revival]

Hi sweetheart I'm not great with words tonight but will give it a try

I'm so sorry that you're finding things so hard right now, you really don't deserve this. I know that things hurt right now, I really do and I do know what it feels like to be at the end of your rope and at the point where you feel like you just can't keep going on. But I want you to know that I believe in you, you are incredibly strong and you can get through this.

Are you able to ask your GP/psych for more support to help you right now?

I'm thinking of you and am here for you if theres anything I can do to help

*cuddles lots*

[frizzly]

sweetheart. i dont think everyone thinks you are moving on with things or that things are good again. well i know i dont.. sorry if it seems like i think that also....

im sorrry things are so tough

you can keep doing this.. we can.... ill be there every step of the way

[bunsy]

hey sugar - im very proud that youre moving on!! everyone moves on and its a scary and frightening thing... but sometimes it feels like we're going to break but i know you can stay strong. maybe you need to help those people who look at you and think 'look things are good again' and tell them that you are struggling and that you'd really like their support?


and just like frizzly says - we'll be there every step of the way
if you want to talk feel free to PM or email

love and hugs
life is music, play it louder
Rei xxx

[lozza]

thanks everyone

I got an apt to see gp soon... will be driving new car to that... see how I go I guess??

this morning I tried to make my car my own by putting all my cds in it, my lucky bracelet, putting care bear stickers up on back window...

I dont know... its just different, its not the same:(

the doors open differently, make a different sound.... when I lock and unlock the car... again a different sound... its louder

I just want my old baby back....

part of me wants to crash this one... I dont care about it, I dont want it.... for once in my life I dont give a damn about the car I drive and I want to do both it and me a lot of damage.... nothing matters anymore :(

....that scares me a lot, I'm so scared