Should I change my psychologist?

[bitomato]

I've had the same psychiatrist now for almost 9 years. They diagnosed me with my current MH condition. I've been going to a psychologist going on one year + and there are a few things that are really concerning me:

1) they answer the phone during my sessions- sometimes get up to answer door etc.

2) they don't seem to stick to any plan and just let me vent- even after we decide on things at the end of the last session (I just don't often remember)

3) I don't feel better after my sessions.

I am afraid to change because I figure it is just that I am past the honeymoon period and that I have to learn to trust them. However, I don't think that they understand me any better and have the slightest clue about why I do some things.

I guess the real challenge would be saying something- but I don't want to damage an already fragile relationship.

What should I do? What do you think?

bitomato

hmmm... if you feel it isn't helping you, changing is an option. or you could voice your concerns. if you do the latter they shouldn't be offended as professionals should be used to people questioning their methods. if they are, that's a sign you should change. i do think the answering the door/phone thing is a bit rude. as for not having any direction you should probably mention that. They may just think you want talk therapy rather than more focused types. Good luck.

[smileemptysoul]

^ agrees

My psychiatrist answers the phone sometimes but isn't on it for more then 30 secs. I do think that they should leave phone calls to emergencies only during session but if they are keeping the phone call very short and doesn't happen all the time I don't really mind but if this is constant and for a longer amount of time then I would definetly confront them about it and see what they say, they might make a point not to do it anymore.

About not feeling better after sessions, therapy can often bring out a lot of emotions and things that may bother you so not feeling better might not be a sign to change psychologists but if you feel you aren't getting anything out of it overall then that may be a reason to change. Other mental health professionals have told me that its a therapists job to make you upset. While I know that sounds really horrible but I did understand what they meant because you have to go muddle through a lot of things sometimes to get out to the other side.

Why do you think they don't understand you and what you do?
Psychologists are suppose to help you gain insight to those things. Unless it's a new recent topic they should have a grasp of this by now in my opinion.

[Isoverity]

Take a break from the whole scene. Nine years is too long imo. There comes a point where talking and talking and talking about problems just deepens the psychic funk of them and keeps them alive.

[roiben]

If it bothers you - it would pay to tell them that.

Explain that although you appreciate their help you would feel more at ease if they could make an agreement with you to:

1) Not answer any calls, it is easy to get a receptionist to take messages for them.
2) Set out a plan - and follow it through. Maybe providing a written plan that you both have a copy of and can refere to (so you can see it and can review it at sessions to see where progress has been made)
3) Outline/Review what the therapy session is meant to be covering, if you feel you are just ranting, maybe ask if they can provide feedback on what you have said, either in summary or with an opinion on what could be done to improve x y or z.

If none of these help, or they are unwilling to look into them, it may be worth a change.

[bitomato]

Wow thanks guys for all the responses!!

My psychiatrist is cool- I see them once a month. I have tried to wean it down and my meds too but by the 2 month mark........forget it. I know it is the same time of the month, basically same time of the day and week too and I realise how are relationship has evolved over the decade in terms of being desperate, dependant, rebellious, apathetic, indifferent, inspired and now feeling respected and in control. I agree that the time span is significantly long if not unusually so- but I prefer seeing what you would call a consultant each time than a different senior health officer each month and have them not know a thing about me and waste each session with them reading my file for the first time.

My psychologist I try to go to every week- not so easy with flexible working hours for both of us- and I basically now miss the week I see my psychiatrist. I am going to have a two week break for other reasons and I guess I will think about all of your advice. Basically, I need to decide what I want out of the session because it is helping in some areas but life keeps messing up my plans to do the homework and discuss what was agreed upon- I always have crises!!

My psychologist usually is commending me on how well I am coping- that is what I meant about not knowing me because at the last session- I basically got unusually emotional (to them) and their reasoning was to ask me- is this hormonal?

It really offended me- I know that awareness of self is important but at the same time- I don't want advice and statements I could get from my barber or BFF- I want sound clinical guidance- don't I?

Counsellors/ advisors make statements about themselves and what they do and what people they know do in your therapy session- and I think- hey I am already different- and I actually want to like me- but when you talk about what other people do normally, I want to scream but that's not ME!!


Okay maybe not feeling better after sessions means I keep evolving and growing but it is painful and tiring. Agree about the phone and focus points cause I will keep getting annoyed and upset and wasting energy focusing on that instead of the info in the session.

hmmm- will stop here for now. Thanks for reading and replying guys!

bitomato

[startingagain]

Just tell him how you feel about it. If he is any good he will take it on board and change or give you a good reason. Mine gets annoyed if the phone rings, apologises and hangs it up. Noone has ever knocked, as there is a sign on the door.