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Triggering (SI) - Feeling disillusioned in the helping profession and my choice to join it
Hi. I rarely post, but recently I have been feeling more and more frustrated by my choice to work in the helping profession. I think the last time I started a thread it was when I was considering going back to school for social work, and people were so helpful and supportive... Well, I went back. I am a second year at a social work masters program in Chicago, and I love it. I really do. But lately, I have been feeling so disillusioned by it all. It has been building for a while, the whole them/us mentality: them = those screwed up people who need a social worker, us = the people there to fix "them." I know, not everyone holds this way of thinking, but it is too common for my liking. Even in my field placement, at a counselling center in the Chicago suburbs, the clinicians at times "lovingly" refer to clients as nuts, or crazy, etc. On Friday, my supervisor was showing me his desk chair, which is taped up because metal was popping out of the arm rests, which was ripping his sweaters. He said that one of his clients, who is a teen, asked why his chair was taped up and he told the kid that "It has metal popping out, and if I didn't tape it up anyone sitting it it would get their arms all cut up, and no one wants scars all over their arms." Of course, as someone who has scars on her arms, I felt really uncomfortable. I wanted to pull up my sleeves and say "Oh, you mean like this??" (but I didn't). And all of this them and us, for some reason, is really triggering to me. Don't know why. I don't want them to know about my history with SI. I dread the weather getting nice, and I have NEVER been afraid or embarrassed to wear short sleeves before. Anyway, this is turning into a rant, people, if anyone is currently a social worker or mental health professional, make me feel better about my choice to become one!! Thanks.
Carrie
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