Since I first came to RYL, I've noticed something of a trend in the support forums - people saying "I'm sorry for wasting thread space but blah blah blah."
I mentioned this before a while ago in a discussion about post problems in general, but I think it's serious enough to get its own thread, because it needs to be addressed.
Now, I'll be honest, I've done the same thing in the past until I realised the idiocy of it. Here's a hypothetical situation (which has in all likelihood happened many, many times by now):
1. RYLer X has a problem, and posts looking for help or support or whatever, but opens by apologising for "wasting thread space."
2. RYLer Y, who has a less pressing (but no less real or valid) problem, sees this apology and thinks "his problem is much more serious than mine, and if he has to apologise for wasting space, well..."
3. RYLer Y is now less inclined to ask for the support he needs, because he feels he's wasting space, and wasting time people could be spending on "real" problems.
You can see, I'm sure, how that could be a bad thing.
So I was thinking maybe we could get a sticky or something telling people not to feel the need to apologise for asking for help? I think it would help alleviate people's feelings of guilt for posting, if only a little, and it would help prevent situations like the one I just described.
I noticed this and I know that I have been guilty of it. When someone is in a complete state and is posting on the support boards I don't think that they will be thinking 'I cannot say that...' and it will just be a natural reaction to say it anyway. It is quite a difficult situation to address, maybe a sticky reminding people that everybody is important and stuff like that or something.
I see your problem and I agree with what you are saying, it does deny other people support even though the original user doesn't see it that way. The only thing is how to address the problem because people feel that they have to apologize for 'wasting thread space'.
This did come up a while ago and quickly descended so can we keep it civil in here please.
I think if i remember rightly from the last thread, people decided that although it isnt nice to read, the type of site we are on has poeple with very low self esteem who have trouble posting and so thy often put themselves down.
Meh - it's a "society" of (generally) insecure teens who lay down self defense mechanisms when they post. Making an issue of this won't lead to much.
I think jack has a point here
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Maybe encouraging people to explain why they feel uncomfortable about posting would help cut back on it? Saying things like, 'you said you're sorry to have posted it, can you think why you feel you don't deserve the support' rather than going, 'oh, it's okay, of course you can post' every time... eventually there may be a reduction in posts apologizing, and an increase in self-awareness.
A sticky won't help in the slighest... Perhaps addressing this in a reply is a much more acute way to try and help the person rather than a sticky which in the heat of emotion no one will stop to think about
