(dont know)

[Merc]

im wondering if im scared of being 'well'.
Supposedly it is common enough, and it makes sense to me....but i still dont like it really. WHY would i choose to reamin like this?!
I guess the thought of the upcoming group therapy is playing on my mind...i cant be the aloof observer. Well i could..but why waste my time and theirs by doing that routine???
But.....to admit to emotions, to SHOW emotions is...well going to be near new ground for me.
I have always had to fight and hide and be tough.
Never could i cry or need help as a child and it carried over to later years.
Im the one who fixes things, who finds things out, who gets things done...basically the one who kicks ass when needed...lol.
Now i'm meant to give that up?
To cry?
to be vulnerable???!!
Just how the **** am i meant to do that???!!
Like ui have the doc i saw today worried about me and wanting me back on AP's and i have to see him next week. He even left notice witht he reception that im to be given any emergency appt if i need...that freaked me out.
Hard ( VERY hard) to admit...but i guess i might be scared
I dont know how to do these things...i really dont.
What if the other parts of me take over and block everything? The part that has to be tough all the time?
What if i blow my chance at this???
sorry...i hate asking for this kind of help, its really hard and makes me feel very weak and i HATE being weak...but it driving me mad....
dont know what im asking for..maybe just some support?
(sorry to ask...ans man is that hard to outright ask for support)
romp

[~invisible~girl~]

I know it can be scary to show your emotions or to look "weak" or stuff, it scares me too, but even just having posted this, and admitting that it makes you uncomfortable is really good. Asking for help doesn't make you weak. Actually, you have to be really tough to do stuff you're scared of. I know it feels like asking for help or showing emotions means you're weak, but really you have to be really strong to do it, and it doesn't make you weak at all. Just try to be brave, and try to open up to people in group. Just keep trying your best; it's okay if you can't do it right away, if the "tough" part takes over sometimes when you want it to, no one expects you to do everything all at once, just keep trying and it'll come in time.

[Destinationzero]

It is the most normal feeling ever. You are getting out of your comfort zone and what you're used to is safe...even if it is bad. I have always thought that there should be one place in the world where you don't have to be strong, where you can let it out, and where you can show weakness and worry. Maybe that group can be that for you. It will take a bit but you will get used to the whole group atmosphere and maybe it will be the start of getting "well". It is a process and they know you probably won't be crying and super emotional the first time you go because you're in a room full of strangers. It will be ok once you start it though. You will get a new comfort zone and being unwell will start seeming more and more undesirable. You can do it!