so ive been finding that my AD was becoming more and more useless and have wanted to come off it for ages....me being stupid tried the whole cold turkey thing-never a good idea.. so i went back on them and then recently ive been trying to reduce the dose myself cos im so fed up of them. they arent helping for a start so no point being on them but they stop me from being a normal 25yr old-i cant even have one drink without being sick and how do you time and time keep explaining why you arent drinking on a night out....or being the boring sober one (i struggle in social situations anyway) ANYWAY...........so i had managed a week of reducing my dose and not felt too bad but today i felt REALLY sick and hot and very emotional so i decided to book an appt with the gp(3rd time lucky at this gp surg) she was really nice and quite easy to talk to, not quite like my old gp but nice.
we discussed why i wanted to come off them, she felt that if i was still self harmiing them i shouldnt be stopping the ADs. did try to explain to her that ADs dont stop you sh-ing....but she felt i should stay on them. me being me and a bit naughty kinda bullied her into reducing the amount as i said i came to her for help so either she reduce my amount or i will just carrying on doing what im doing and screwing with my body....she relented :D i know im bad but i was being honest and i wasnt doing it to put her in an awkward position i was doing it to look after me and thats who i need to look after. im hopefully seeing chmt at some point soon (im being transferred from one service from another-but taken friggin months!) so they should continue my weening of it! but i just cant wait to be free of stupid chemicals.....
sorry i waffled on a bit xx
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!! 
