Triggering (SI) - Im not worth it anymore. Not anything..

xSeeYouAroundx · 04-10-2009, 02:55 PM

There is truely something wrong with me,
Im dont want to pretend im happy anymore, i dont want to pretend to be whatever people want to see. I cant stop, i dont even know who i am anymore.
Why cant i just end this ? It would be so much easier..

~hunni~ · 04-10-2009, 07:23 PM

Hey,
I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time at the moment. It is really hard when you feel like you have to pretend you're happy if you're not. If you're not happy, don't be afraid to express that. People may expect you to be happy, but they can't help you or support you if you don't let them know how you're really feeling.

I realise that none of this is easy right now, but from the looks of your sig there are people in your life who care about you, and that is something that is worth sticking around for.
Stay safe
xxx

I.Heart.And · 05-10-2009, 08:34 AM

You don't have to pretend, you don't owe it to anybody to pretend to be something you're not. What is it that is making you so unhappy?
Please don't give up x

tamobhuuta · 05-10-2009, 02:29 PM

ending it isn't a good idea. far better to find a way out of this pain that keeps you safe. why do you feel so bad?

xSeeYouAroundx · 06-10-2009, 01:52 AM

just like too many things happening at once. when i tell my boyfriend about it he just gets all quiet and he asks me all the time how one person could deal with all this. i dont know a better way to deal

88shelz · 06-10-2009, 02:38 PM

it might help to talk to someone different and not as close to you about whats going on
write down the things you are finding diffiicult and work out how you can make them more easier.

tamobhuuta · 06-10-2009, 08:08 PM

could you talk to a counsellor or your doctor?

xSeeYouAroundx · 07-10-2009, 01:58 AM

Ew no. I know a therapist wont help. Im thinking about coming clean to my doctor though.

tamobhuuta · 07-10-2009, 08:54 AM

that would be really great if you could

xSeeYouAroundx · 09-10-2009, 09:06 PM

I just dont know how to do it.
Theres ALOT of things ive been hiding from her.
I just dont know how to say i think i have multiple disorders (depression, anxiety, bi polar, anorexic, ect).
Theres alot i really need to tell her.. How should i go about it ?

ethel · 09-10-2009, 09:12 PM

it takes more out of you to pretend to be happy,to be this constant "happy smiley" person. be true to whats going on at the time but be safe.

maybe you could write it down in a letter and ask your doctor to read it next time your there or send it in the post. hope that helps xx

xSeeYouAroundx · 09-10-2009, 10:57 PM

Somedays its like "whats the point", cuz i feel like no one even sees me in school most of the time. But usually the days im at my worst every person feels like talking to me or "joking around". Today i just got in a fight with my friend and shes being such a bitch to me and i told her i was having a bad day and she said she was done being sympathetic. It just pissed me off to no end.

That it a good idea for the doctors though .

tamobhuuta · 10-10-2009, 04:20 PM

yeah, like ethel says a letter can make things much easier. write down everything you can think of that's a problem (preferably without guessing what you might 'have' as some doctors don't like it when you do that). good luck