In this book i was suggested to read, they talk about giving up self harm and overdosing ect. i been doing SH for a long time now (7-8 years)
and the taking of OD's begun 3 years back but have only gotten bad recently. they ask a question in this book... "
are you truly tired of living in the bondage of self harm?" they say think carefully about it.
and
it got me thinking......ive done this for so long--that i think i need it always just to get through the day, the moment. at the time it seems the only option and i know itll help- cos ive convinced myself of this. this isnt how i wanted to live- i didnt think about the future when i started SH, only the moment. i didnt consider how hot it was to wear long sleeves, never thoguht how ashamed id be, how afraid that someone would se a cut/scar and ask questions. never figured this along with eatng issues would consume me....yet it has. So am i tired of living in this bondage------YES.
Next step: these behavious are safe- i know they help, i know where to turn but in all reality there not that safe-whats if its too deep----what if its too much. what then--i die. someone finds me-how will that be for them. to battle this- these behaviours im gonna need to be strong, gonna need support and when things get desprate- then Desprate Measures are required. what are these measures.....
1. taking all tempational objects out of my room -
YES ALL
2. who can i call
3. distractions, ways to resist.
4. whats going on inside-- nameing these.
5. and if all else fails then its psych hospital i call.
I want to be FREE, i want to claim back my life- the one thats been taken form me and replaced with this. and its gonna be hard- and i will slip up but i am strong and i can do this. maybe not on my own but i can and will.
a friend of mine whos struggled lots before - shes doing okay now---- i have HOPE.
So yeah guess, i just wanted to tell you all, and maybe ask for some support and ideas for ways to resist- what works for you? 
