Appointment on Tuesday :(

[Outcast Angel]

I have an appointment this Tuesday morning with the Mental Health and Wellbeing Team and I am terrified. It's over two years since I've seen anyone about this kind of thing (apart from telling GP I needed help about a month ago) and I'm just scared of what might come from it. I know I need to do this, I'm getting to the point where I may tip over the edge again and I want the help before I get there. I am so worried about my mum finding out, or my work and losing my job. I'm scared that it won't get any better, or that they'll say nothings wrong and leave me to deal with it on my own. Part of me is desperate for them to section me so I don't have to think anymore, just be. But if that happened then I've failed everyone again.
I just don't know what to think or feel or do.

[Merc]

It is really scary the first time; opening up and telling someone.
But you are doing the right thing; you really are.
It isnt a weakness or letting anyone down..its being strong enough to admit you need a little bit of help right now.
i hope they are nice and they can offer you some support/help.
It sometimes helps if you write down what you want to say...just in case yo ufind it too difficult to say it out loud. You can either just read from the note, or hand it over for them to read.
Try to be as honest as possible, the more they know, the better they can help.
Do you have a human resources worker at your work? They are there to help with this sort of thing; from time off, to support at work, to shift changes, etc.
I understand you are scared of your mom finding out...but honestly? It can be a relief to not have to hide everything anymore...to feel all alone with it all.
Let us know how it goes ok??
good luck!

[Stellata]

I hope things work out for the best for you. Let us know how you get on.

[Outcast Angel]

It's not the first time I've had to tell someone, its just its two years since I overdosed and since then I've done a pretty good job of pretending everything is ok. I can't let mum find out - it almost killed her the last time, she has so much going on at the moment, going through a divorce,looking after her parents, I can't let her find this out too.
My best friend helped me write some stuff down for when I went to the GP for referral, will take that with me.
Thanks for support. I guess I'm just feeling pretty alone - best friend moved a couple of weeks ago and I'm feeling out on a limb with no one to turn to :(
Sometimes just wish I could curl up in bed and ignore everyone and everything.
Will let you know how it goes.
Cx

[Outcast Angel]

Appointment done thank god!

Was in there for an hour with someone who was a community mental health nurse (I think!). Managed to be honest about everything, if not emotionally honest about how I'm really feeling - but told him all about behaviours I'm worried about and some about lows/highs.

Have been referred to psychiatrist for medication review, therapist for counselling, someone else for self-esteem classes and possibly an eating disorder specialist.

All a bit scary and full on but I'm glad I went and glad that things are being sorted, if slowly.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Cx

[~Grace~]

Im glad it went well for you
It all seems really positive
Well done xx

[Stellata]

That's great that you went and have some things 'in the pipeline' for support. :)