Steve my Friend,
Hugs,
"the man and the madness"
Listen steve i understand from your pm that your gfs dad is restricting your pc access to evenings. Because he thinks hunting for a job is more important than seeking support for yourself. Well i can understand him only to a point, eventually trying to get a job is important but right now its not a possibility for you.
But steve my friend does your gfs dad understand how difficult it is for you right now in how searching for a job and holding one down isnt possible for you. You must make sure he understands enough of the situation, only tell him just enough for him to understand. You need his support not judgements.
Listen friend hugs, slipping up is all part of the recovering process, its good your aware of your feelings , and of course you didnt want it to happen. Stay strong mate and build on this, look at it that youve taken a step back for now but your journey forward continues. Im still slipping up but it takes time. Be safe be strong, concentrate on increasing your time between your SI. You can and will do this. With anything steve it takes practice determination and learning coping distraction mechanisms.
Your doing so well friend dont loose sight of that.
Everyone who achieves things in life, has many many steps back before they finally achieve their goal their purpose. You will get to that place of holding out being stronger be patient friend.
"the failure and hope"
I hear you mate about you and your gf arguing more and more, and you say you dont know if its you. You believe shes cheating on you.
You need to sit down together and be honest about your fears, let each other explain what they think is wrong in your relationship,their fears, what is going well , how can we trust each other, how can we improve our relationship.
explain your fears of her cheating and whats shes doing, saying that makes you believe she is cheating. Until you are honest it wont get easier.
the fact that you are managing some difficult issues right now, will add to the way your relationship is going, be honest steve about your SI, ask her about it, ask her about your drinking and what she thinks.
A relationship is allways about two people. If you both love each other enough and accept the difficulties you both have right now then im sure you will get through this, but being honest and open is key to it.
explain to your gf about how easily your ED pops up because of relationship stresses.
Tell her how it makes you drink more, keep doing your best to control your drinking,
(added this as an after thought) >> I wanted to repeat what someone else has suggested so well to you, about dealing with your drinking, on another of your threads my friend. It was concentrate on just one or two issues at a time, and to concentrate on controling and overcoming your drinking first, because the drinking will affect any medication your taking it stops them working. and it will make everything worse.
dont neglect any support you can recieve for yourself with your drinking, get support through your gp they can refer you, check out local support for the drinking, the battle always evolves around you my friend you are the one who makes the choices, but get as much support from your gf as she can give as well as professional support. And of course ryl to use as much as you can.
"the attempt and the fall"
Its good you are honest with yourself and thats a big step forward, you fear your going to fall with your drinking and your other problems, but steve remember its a process a journey there will be falls, but you need to stay focused on your journey moving forward and doing your best to lessen the drinking and lessen the SI. It will be hard for you being away more from ryl, please stay strong and draw in around you any other methods of support you can such as professional help, your gp, telephone alcohol support lines if you can talk on the phone.
Until you return to us at ryl. Dont worry about expressing yourself here its not complaining its constructive its an outlet its expressing your emotion. we all are here for you friend .
Of course it makes sense you want to have comforting words , ways of coping, these will strengthen your journey, we are here friend
this old dragon will be here as much as he can be for you my friend
he recieves your peace love and good happiness stuff.
and offers you my friend strength love hope friendship allways while you travel on your journey
look after yourself steve
this old dragon is close by
Dave
Last edited by bleedingdragon : 30-07-2007 at 01:25 AM.
Reason: added more words
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