Triggering (SI/ED) - omfg. why did i do this?

[Pixie] · 09-09-2009, 10:44 PM

well i dont know what to do right now.
im sitting here in a pathetic state.
im in tears,
blade in my hands because im such an idiot.
basically, ive just eaten a whole weeks worth of calories in the last five mins.
wtf?
so yeah just fucking binged. WTF :|:|
it had been months since my last one.
i thought i was recovering.
now im so desperate to purge.

but im here.
resisting.
but i dont know how long i can last because i know i need to purge soon.
so yeah,
now my minds racing and im set on cutting.
im triggered.
i want to really do some damage.
get stitched up.
yeah.
thats what i want.

:(((

Reki · 09-09-2009, 10:58 PM

*hug*
You're strong, you can get through this. Even if you might not believe it right now, it will.
Have you tried alternatives? They often help not to SH. Here's a website with some suggestions if you would like to try it out: http://www.siriusproject.org/alternatives.htm
It may help...

I'm sorry you're feeling this way... But relapse is normal in recovery. It's not something you should beat yourself up over, it's completely normal.
You are doing a great job resisting, please stay safe.
Take care of yourself, and keep posting if you feel like it, we're here to support you. You can PM me anytime if you need to talk.
*hug*

[Pixie] · 09-09-2009, 11:08 PM

thankyou :(
i know its normal to relapse, but it makes you feel even worse than before.
i feel really discusting.
and huge.
ffs!
thanku for the advice xx

everybodysfoolx · 09-09-2009, 11:13 PM

well done in resisting, just be strong, cliche i know, but you no you can be.
just pm if you need anything. sorry not much help.
x

Time-Bomb · 09-09-2009, 11:19 PM

*hugs*

Stay strong hunni.
Have you been able to put down the blade?
PM if ever want to talk.
Take care of yourself,

Connie
xxx

foreverXanXaddict · 09-09-2009, 11:26 PM

hey you'll be ok. you dont have to purge. you fucked up. its cool, we all do it. dont purge, maybe go for a run? do some crunches. something healthy since your body has already absorbed most of that food, do some working out. or llisten to music and dance aroudn all crazy. you dont have to cut either. thats not gonna make that binge go away. i know you know that but realize it. you've come so far, you slipped up a little, dont call it a relapse just yet, its just a slip up-if thats what you make it.