The Community Team are currently working on updating and awesome-fying the RYL Guide and we need your thoughts and opinions!
In the long run, we're hoping to see the RYL Guide become more than a technical FAQ/quick question place. The *new* RYL Guide will be a guide to everything about RYL and what happens as a member on here. Well, when I say everything...
One of the sections we're working on is some advice/guidelines on writing support threads that'll maximise the chances of getting replies. This is not a guide to writing the replies - just hints and tips for what makes a thread easier to reply to.
Some of the things (that are in the rules already but still useful to be reminded of!) are...
Not using text-type/typing as well as you're able to.
Not guilttripping or tipsharing.
Giving as much background information as you feel ready to.
etc.
What do you all think? What makes it easier for you to reply to a support thread?
Thank you in advance! If you have any other suggestions or comments or whatever about the RYL Guide, feel free to PM me!
Chelsea
CT Team Leader
On behalf of the Community Team
It helps when someone states what kind of support they want. It is nice to know if they just want to know someone is listening or if they want practical advice.
I think an important one is to write in an easily readable font. A lot of people are happiest reading the default font that the forum provides. Too small and we can't read it. Personally, I don't like reading extremely big text either, it seems to me that the person is shouting.
Also I think colours are important. I can read most colours, but I know that a lot of members can't read certain colours and so if you want replies, it's best to avoid such colours as the palest colours, red and other brighter colours.
Paragraphs. If I go into a thread and see one great chunk of text, I leave the thread again without replying. I can't focus on chunks of text and the words spin around the page. Using paragraphs can help to split up the text, making it easier to read.
One last point. Spelling. I don't mean text speak. I mean proper spellings. I know that some people can't spell well and I accept that. But make an effort to try? I struggle to read incorrect spelling and grammar and again, I often leave these threads unanswered as I sometimes cannot work out what the person is trying to say.
Something that the other Chels suggested, that I really agree with - ask questions. Instead of "I can't do this!", say "I struggle with this, what can I do to change that?" - it makes it difficult to reply when it's all negative and rant-like, if you're posting for support, ask questions to help you with your support.
As a general thing, I find it much easier to reply to a thread that says 'I'm feeling bad, because of this, this or this reason, I just wanted someone to talk to, or to feel like someone understands' rather than one that says 'I feel really bad, and want to *whatever*' and not give any details.
I never know what I can say to threads that don't give any type of information about the reasoning behind the posters feelings, because I'm always frightened of saying something completely out of context or something that could make the poster feel even worse. At least when something is said by the poster that at least brings up a topic - trouble at home/problems with school/fight with a friend - type of thing, it can at least give a starting point for a supportive conversation to take place rather than 6 people asking what's made them feeling this way and generally going round in circles before anything constructive can really be said.
I hope that makes some sense...
EDIT - I also agree with everything that's been said - at least trying to make your post legible to everyone with font colours, not using chat-speak and stuff like that. Paragraphs are much easier to digest. I understand and accept that not everyone is fully able to use perfect grammar, but when things are written out in a fashion that can be read much quicker and more easily understood. I guess you could always just put what you want to say into bullet points, if you don't feel confident using paragraphs? I'd find a load of bullet points easier to understand than a wall of text.
Last edited by Rodolphus : 09-09-2009 at 06:34 PM.
Reason: EDIT
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I think it's important for someone to say what the want from replies. If they want tips of how to fight urges, or advice about a situation or if they want honest opinions or support/validation.
Ummm I had another suggestion, but it left me :| I'll be back
Oh!When you cant/wont take someones advice try replying with something like....'thats a good idea, i might try that when i feel a bit stronger' instead of just dismissing it.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
^ Indeed. And also be polite by thanking those that took the time to reply. It is a total kick in the teeth when you've given support or advice and you don't even know if the OP bothered reading it or if they found it helpful or whatever.
Also, I find it very hard to reply to posts where the OP clearly has no intention of taking advice. I'm not sure how to explain it properly but sometimes there are posts that kind are along the "this this this and this but because of that that that and that, it's never going to change" I'm never entirely sure why the post was made in those instances...if no one can help with the situation or support you through it then perhaps it belongs in R&V. Or make a thread which allows for others to respond, by setting out the facts and your emotions and see what people have to say without knocking down responses before they've been made. Did any of that make sense?
^ Indeed. And also be polite by thanking those that took the time to reply. It is a total kick in the teeth when you've given support or advice and you don't even know if the OP bothered reading it or if they found it helpful or whatever.
Also, I find it very hard to reply to posts where the OP clearly has no intention of taking advice. I'm not sure how to explain it properly but sometimes there are posts that kind are along the "this this this and this but because of that that that and that, it's never going to change" I'm never entirely sure why the post was made in those instances...if no one can help with the situation or support you through it then perhaps it belongs in R&V. Or make a thread which allows for others to respond, by setting out the facts and your emotions and see what people have to say without knocking down responses before they've been made. Did any of that make sense?
Yeah, that made sense to me :)
I'd find it easier to reply to something that said 'I really don't feel able to go to my doctor/whatever the circumstance, but do you think there could be any other options for me?' - Then at least if I could reply, I'd be thinking that the poster would at least read my reply and take whatever I've said into consideration.
I may have just repeated what you said there
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
Linder, yes I can see your point that in general, people who are friends with people in distress will be quick to reply, but this isn't always the case. Some people find it very difficult to make friends, some people are very new and need the support because they are in a rough patch, but haven't been on the site long enough to make any friends just yet.
I have also found that it's not just people's friends that reply to threads. Yes, a lot of people do reply to their friends' threads, but in a recent thread that I posted in serious, I found that I had people that I'd never seen around the boards helping me and supporting me. People want to help other people, whether they are friends with that person or not.
Try and support other people when you feel able to?
If I posted and someone replied, then I'd be more inclined to read a thread they'd made looking for support, I think.
It's not one of those 'just look out for your friends' things, but I think if people see that you're willing to try and give something back, even if it's just a basic reply of 'I understand how you're feeling, and just wanted to know that you're not alone, is there anyone you could contact?' type of thing, then more people may be inclined to reply to your post.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
Try and support other people when you feel able to?
If I posted and someone replied, then I'd be more inclined to read a thread they'd made looking for support, I think.
It's not one of those 'just look out for your friends' things, but I think if people see that you're willing to try and give something back, even if it's just a basic reply of 'I understand how you're feeling, and just wanted to know that you're not alone, is there anyone you could contact?' type of thing, then more people may be inclined to reply to your post.
yeah this helps a lot. I recently replied to someones thread, even though I've never talked to them, and when I later posted for support, they replied to my thread. Helping people makes them more inclined to help you.
^ Yeah, like, try and have one thread and updating it instead of making new ones all the time? Even if you're putting *updated, post 41*, or whatever, so people don't have to search through to find what you're trying to get across?
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
lol yeah i was only half-serious.
i think updating one thread is a good idea, depending on how long the thread is / how often you update it. i know some people make serious threads every day / every couple days which seems a little excessive.
also the poster could specifically outlie the problem / problems, and what they hope to get from the thread. i don't read serious because it's depressing / sameish but the few times i did, it was mostly "i feel really **** tonight.." and it's like, what can i even say to that?
i think "x is happening in my life at the moment. it's causing x problems. what can i do to change that." or even just "i feel x bad, i don't know what to do to turn my life around / be happy. any tips on coping with tonight / the week / forever?"
ALSO. update on the situation. it's really shitty when you reply to something and then you have no idea if the OP even read it, took on board what you said, etc. just a "thanks for replying, i'll keep that in mind, etc" would be nice.
I think an important one is to write in an easily readable font. A lot of people are happiest reading the default font that the forum provides. Too small and we can't read it. Personally, I don't like reading extremely big text either, it seems to me that the person is shouting.
Also I think colours are important. I can read most colours, but I know that a lot of members can't read certain colours and so if you want replies, it's best to avoid such colours as the palest colours, red and other brighter colours.
Paragraphs. If I go into a thread and see one great chunk of text, I leave the thread again without replying. I can't focus on chunks of text and the words spin around the page. Using paragraphs can help to split up the text, making it easier to read.
This.
Especially the paragraph bit, I find it easier when it's in paragraphs because then I can word/make my reply clearer, if that makes sense. And it's just easier to read, like its being made into different points so it's easier to address each different issue?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreaming.
Something that the other Chels suggested, that I really agree with - ask questions. Instead of "I can't do this!", say "I struggle with this, what can I do to change that?" - it makes it difficult to reply when it's all negative and rant-like, if you're posting for support, ask questions to help you with your support.
& This.
It helps to give advice on what to do, and it shows the OP wants help or advice on how to solve something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheMarieMachine
As a general thing, I find it much easier to reply to a thread that says 'I'm feeling bad, because of this, this or this reason, I just wanted someone to talk to, or to feel like someone understands' rather than one that says 'I feel really bad, and want to *whatever*' and not give any details.
I never know what I can say to threads that don't give any type of information about the reasoning behind the posters feelings, because I'm always frightened of saying something completely out of context or something that could make the poster feel even worse. At least when something is said by the poster that at least brings up a topic - trouble at home/problems with school/fight with a friend - type of thing, it can at least give a starting point for a supportive conversation to take place rather than 6 people asking what's made them feeling this way and generally going round in circles before anything constructive can really be said.
I hope that makes some sense...
EDIT - I also agree with everything that's been said - at least trying to make your post legible to everyone with font colours, not using chat-speak and stuff like that. Paragraphs are much easier to digest. I understand and accept that not everyone is fully able to use perfect grammar, but when things are written out in a fashion that can be read much quicker and more easily understood. I guess you could always just put what you want to say into bullet points, if you don't feel confident using paragraphs? I'd find a load of bullet points easier to understand than a wall of text.
& This.
DILLIGAF
"it’s when you’re acting selflessly, that you are at your bravest"
- Four.
♥
All really good points!
Especially re: multiple threads. To be perfectly honest if I see someone with 10 active support threads at one time I really don't feel like replying because either they can't possibly be taking anyone's advice on board if they're making repeated threads about identical problems, just using different words or they have no understanding about how their multiple threads are leading to others getting less support.
Also there are some members who repeatedly ask for support, yet never give any themselves. I know this because I've wondered it about some people, checked all their posts and they've never given anything back. (I'm not talking aobut when you are struggling too much to support others, I'm talking about over entire time spent at RYL). Personally I find it hard to show compassion for these members when I know they are giving nothing back to this community, they are leeches!
Politeness, politeness,politeness! If you don't like the advice/information someone offers you, please just accept it graciously. Yes I realise some people are overly harsh in their replies and I don't mean put up with flaming or bullying, just if you don't like someone's advice, just thank them for replying and if applicable state why their advice wouldn't work for you/flaws in their reasoning. Don't use the word whatever on it's own please, it's so rude and dismissive!
