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Triggering (SI) - **** it **** it **** IT =/
im sick of being let down and having to do everything on my own all the time.
uni term starts at the end of the month and i have nowhere to live =/
ive been trying all year to find somewhere and people to share with, but it all got ****ed up one way or another- 3/4 houses we're talking. and mainly tbh cos of my friend not pulling his weight and not wanting to share with the people we found.
then my boyfriend turned round last minute and was like i cant afford to live with you. and my friend is doing **** all and expects me to sort it all even though he lives there in london and im 100+ miles away at home right now. and its like grrr im going to be ****ed and unable to finish my course.
its alright for them- they both live in london anyway with their families. they have somewhere, they're not totally alone. they may not like it at home but at least they have a home down there where they dont have to worry about rent and fending for themselves. and its alright for all the people we chose not to share with they all have somewhere too.
its just me.
its always me.
i tried so hard to sort it out myself while i was in london all this year in my first year, but it ****ed up all of the time. and im starting to see that it all kinda comes down to that friend never pulling his weight and him being skint all the time doesnt help. not the best person to rent a place with.
ive applied to live in uni halls again and they put me on a waiting list but i cant really rely on them as it depends on people dropping out of rooms they already allocated cos its so late.
im *this* close to telling everyone to **** off and just dropping out and continuing the course elsewhere starting next sept or something. like they'd even care anyway and i shouldnt have to uproot and start over anyway =/
i feel like cutting. i feel like... bleh doing so many things i shouldnt cos they are bad.
and i cant talk to anyone because whats the point i cant rely on them they've made that clear
=/
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