Triggering (SI/OD) - In need of extra support...

dragonfly · 04-09-2009, 11:20 PM

I'm finding all of this really hard right now. I have just taken sick time from work to try and recover a little better but that just makes me feel really pathetic, I can't even do the job that i have been doing for the past 3 years.

I know people who know that i harm look at me and think that i'm being stupid, that it's only kids that cut themselve because they want attention. But thats not true.
They think that someone my age shouldn't be that out of control of things to want to kill themselves but the truth is, i do want that.

I hate so much being compared to the emo kids who do it to look cool in the groups. I am not one of them, as alot of people are not.
I just want them to notice that i need some support from them instead of their accusing and judging looks.

I don't post here much but i am really hoping that you older ones might be able to notice how much help i really do need even if i can't get it all across in the words like i would like to.

All i want to do right now is slash my wrist open and take so many pills that i lose count. I have so many reason to do this yet i still can't manage it, I'm so weak and pathetic that i can't even believe i am still allowed the life i have. I put everyone i love through so much pain and am to selfish to satop putting them through it all.

I'm just so lost. I don't even know what i want from all this.

I'm sorry for taking up valuable space that someone more worth while could have made use of. I just don't know what else to do

effervescence · 05-09-2009, 08:55 AM

hey.
first of all, i hate being compared to emo kids. i find it really hard when people make jokes about emos and cutting. but you just have to remember that you know that you have reasons for cutting that aren't for attention and it's just everybody else who is at fault for not trying to understand that.
i know it's really hard when you want to hurt yourself and you feel that you don't deserve to be happy.
just try to think about the people you love and who love you, and imagine how bad they would feel if anything bad happened to you. concentrate on trying to be strong and carry on for them.