Triggering (SI) - mom 'joking'

zivalover16 · 19-08-2009, 05:47 AM

Today, I;m not really sure why but I was feeling down and not myself. I had the big urge to hurt myself

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. I now have a bruise and showed it to my mom saying that I fell. She responded with a 'joke' so that's how your hurting yourself now. I know she was joking but the fact that she said it hurt..... I know I deserve it but it kinda struck a nerve. I don't have the urge even after she said that (usually it brings urgers). sry for waisting your time. I just felt guilty.

88shelz · 19-08-2009, 08:21 PM

awk hun...some people just done realise the words and the effect they have
if its still bothering you alot then tell your mum that you werent ok with what she said and the reasons why

Elley88 · 20-08-2009, 09:33 PM

It wasn't the most sensitive thing and I can understand why you feel bad, but it may well be because she doesn't know how to talk to you about it. I don't know how much you've spoken with her in the past, but lots of people make awkward jokes/say inappropriate things, not because they don't care, but because they aren't comfortable with the subject and can't easily put their thoughts into words xx

23-08-2009, 03:38 AM

*Hugs* i can see why that hurt. could you tell her you don't like her joking about something as sensitive as your SI? she may not realize how much it hurts you, and she may not know how else to broach the subject. I think having a serious conversation with her about it might help.

one_step_closer · 23-08-2009, 04:42 PM

Maybe you could gather some information about self harm and show it to her. Take care.

whirlpools · 23-08-2009, 05:56 PM

It sounds like you were needing something from her by showing her the bruise. Like others said, maybe it would be good to show her some info about self harm and have a chat about how it makes you feel. I'm sure she'd be much happier that you told her than keeping it to yourself.

~Grace~ · 23-08-2009, 08:03 PM

I think you wewre brave to show your mum the bruise, but you werent expecting the response that you got. Would it be possible to sit down and explain to your mum why her reply upset you? xxxx

ThinkingofRecovery · 23-08-2009, 10:22 PM

I don't want to upset you or anything but when I have bruised or burned myself (cutting being my usual method), I have tried to pretend that it was something else. My housemate would go along with it but would know really that despite my explanation, it was sh. Maybe your mum was wanting to know if you were hurting yourself but didn't know how to ask in a more tactful way so made a joke out of it? Sorry, that prob doesn't make much sense.

zivalover16 · 27-08-2009, 04:47 AM

no it makes sense...I talked to my therapist about it but didn't tell her I did it on purpose (I know,,,stupid) and she was thinking that possibly it is my moms way of makng lite of the situation even though it is inappropriate. I can't tell my mom how it makes me feel as I find it hard to talk with her in the first place.... I think she was more likely to belive me when I said I slipped as I am very accident prone. I am leacing for school on sunday so I don't really have to worry about her making assumptions... I may come clean to her next summer if I am still si'ing and let her know and go someplace for more intentsive therapy but untiil then I shal just have to tough it out...It'll be easier though because I am leaving for school Sunday!!!!