Adult - Me again

[Mafrofro]

Was reading a post on the veterans board today and it got me thinking. It was about someone who knew a woman who was just self harming to get her fiance's attention and she knew that's why she was doing it and the only reason she'd done it was because she thought that our RYL-er got attention this way.

This is giving me a few doubts about myself. There are some days when i know something in my head isnt right for one reason or another but then there are some when im completely fine, happy even and it makes me feel like im faking it.

I dont know whether im just feeling bad for thinking im lying about it or if i've completely convinced myself that theres something wrong with me for attention.

It's properly pissing me off now because there's no way i can ask for help if there's the chance that there's nothing wrong with me.
On the other hand, maybe this is just complete denial that there is something wrong with me and im just struggling to accept it.

I hate you for this. How can you not know what's wrong with you or even if there is anything wrong with you at all? Of course there isnt, this is just another sad attempt at getting someone to care. You're disgusting so the only way you could possibly get someone to give a **** about you is by doing this.

I'm not though, i might be ok today but im definitely not alright in general.
That's just the sort of thing you would say. It's not like i'd start telling the truth now is it? ****ing liar. How can you possibly live with yourself? You should just stop bothering everyone else and just end it all.

Don't you even feel bad for being a burden on your friends, sure you've not told many of them but they must all know by now. They cant have not noticed and worried about you going missing for two weeks you stupid ****. How can you do this to them?

[Mafrofro]

I love how you've put this as a post on the forums rather than in your journal. It's just that much more likely for you to get the attention you crave. They can all see through you because these people have real problems.

[Mafrofro]

I never used to be like this.

[88shelz]

self harm for one person can be for attention but for another it truly is a coping method.

the harmer is the only one htat will know the real reason of why they do it

[[Awakening]]

i dont think theres anything wrong with attention seeking. It just shows that ur not getting the attention u need. We all need to feel loved and if we dont we may do silly things to attract atention. **hugs** x

[Merc]

I'm sorry i made the post now. It was out of frustration and disbelief.
Just the fact you are questioning yourself leads me to believe you are nothing like this girl...she has no second thoughts/doubts/etc.
She is ill, but in a different way i suppose. Very very insecure.
Sorry it's made you feel so bad.
Please try to take care

[Mafrofro]

Nooo no no! Don't be sorry, it was a way of venting about someone particularly annoying and horrible and wasnt meant to make anyone doubt themselves.

It's just my head seems to take it badly. If that makes any sense at all.

Dont be sorry, please, im just being a bit sensitive.

x

[Sigma]

^ like Morrigan said

if you hurt yourself for attention, you need some attention... it's not a constructive way of getting attention but if you had a constructive way then you'd use it instead of hurting yourself - better to try to find constructive ways than feel bad for needing attention