why does he get so mad

08-08-2009, 07:17 AM

my bf can't stand the fact that i'm going to get disability. i don't get it. can't he see that they wouldn't have given it to me if i wasn't disabled? idk. i don't know if he's embarrassed about me being on it or what. i don't get why he cares. it's the only source of income i can get right now. anyone have any clue why he'd get so upset over it?

crazykat · 08-08-2009, 07:21 AM

I think he is the only one that can tell you that, have you tried sitting down and talking to him about it? *hugs*

08-08-2009, 07:24 AM

he goes round in circles when he talks about it. he says i'm living off the government. but he's ok with using my food stamps... i just wish he'd leave it alone. it's not like i want to not work right now. i just know it's best especially since i'm starting college up again.

crazykat · 08-08-2009, 07:28 AM

I know its hard, but you are doing the best you can. Thats all you can do. If he loves you he should be supporting you in this decision. Sorry a bit crap with advice but hopefully someone with slightly better advice comes along

roiben · 09-08-2009, 11:21 AM

I think the best thing you can do is sit down and talk to him about it. If you are not able to work, or need the financial support, that is what the allowance is meant for. You are not cheating the system or anything, you are using a resource that is designed for people in your situation.

If it means it is real to him, maybe you need to talk to him about what is going on, so he feels less like he needs to pretend it is not real. Perhaps point out ways he could help you, so he feels like he has a part to play and is not just an observer.

Pointing out that he uses your food stamps is important, but do not do so accusatively, instead state is as proof that the support you get is necessary and useful. If he argues against that, the food stamps are yours and it is up to you what you do with them.

Merc · 09-08-2009, 11:58 PM

I hope you can work this out with him. i believe ween is right tho. Its all become real and not just a 'mood' or 'phase' , it is serious.
Im now on early retirement and my hubby is actually relieved; he had such a hard time watching me struggle with work and ultimately breakdown again and again.
Perhaps he is feeling like his support isnt enough for you, and feels guilty that he can't help more?

10-08-2009, 12:47 AM

yeah i'm not sure what it is. he wanted me to give up the disability when he gets a full time job in october and let him support me through school, but i know if he'd do that 1.) he might use it against me and 2.) he'd be nagging me to get a part-time job whether i was ready or not. so i don't want to do that.