Triggering (Suicide) - Suicidal-ness

[Daydream]

Every time sometime bad happens I feel suicidal. Even if its something small, like not being able to find something or something goes wrong, I instantly start thinking "Oh my god, everythings going wrong, why am I here? I should just kill myself here and now.", then I start thinking of how I would do it, but I dont think of dates or places. Its not like seriously suicidal, its just like a bit suicidal.
This isnt for attention, because I dont tell anybody when it happens. I'm just getting sick and tired of it happening every single time something goes bad.



What is wrong with me??

April xx

[Nici-x]

Wo i totally feel the same way. I feel like that all the time aswell! Like, even something soo small will set me off thinking about suicide. Like now, i get my AS results back in august.. and i just keep thinking, well if i fail il just kill myself. I know its stupid..and i probs wont even kill myself.. but my mindset is alot like yours by the sound of it.
I dont really have much more to say, i just wanted to say i know how you feel, keep strong and take care darlin
x x x

[Daydream]

As a side note, I should mention I have a psychiatrist, who I think plans on sending me an appointment when she gets round to it after being off sick. Should the suicidal feelings worry her at all? *shrugs* just wondering.

[hammy]

Hi there
I also have similar feelings, you are not alone with this one. At the moment I am having Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to sort it out. In other words trying to re-train my brain into thinking of other things when it happens. You can do this yourself though by keeping a journal and noting what triggers you. I carry round with my a card that notes down five things to keep me going, like wanting to be around for my mother, wanting to have a future, wanting to have kids, all positive things like that.

If you find that you get suicidal feelings when you;re on your own, find someone to be with, find something to do to occupy yourself. These are no easy things so dont expect it to work first time, it takes practice.

I would definately tell your psych about these feelings, they are bothering you enough to write about them so you should have someone to talk to if nothing else. They should be able to help you. If you feel worried about talking about it you could always print off this post and show it to them.

Try not to get too stressed about all this, it's horrible to go through but we have to try and remember that it wont always be this way and there is help out there. Let us know how you get on.