Whats therapy like for you?

[Useless Information 101]

I just started going to see someone and this thursday will be my third session with them. Im just nervous about them I guess. I imagined them going so differently, you know, I imagined the glamorized version shown in movies and such.
How did you tell the therapist or whatever that you were depressed or having trouble with things? Did you just come right out or was it just like a gradual understanding?
I had hinted before that I wanted to see someone just to "talk to" to my mother and recently she decided that she was going to see someone for couples therapy with my step-dad. So then naturally, she just set things up with the therapist for me to go. Im pretty sure she doesnt know anything about me struggling with my moods or not wanting to live.
And I have been tight-lipped about it, basically. The therapist asked what I wanted to talk about and I just basically shrugged and said something trivial.Which is how the sessions are turning out now, I bring up trivial things and we talk about it.
I really just want help for being depressed and suicidal, but I have no idea how to bring that up. And by bringing some of that up, Im going to have to mention my self-injury. Ill be free a whole year the 6th of August but she said that because Im a minor she has to tell my parents if I am a danger to myself and others. Im nervous that even though its pretty much behind me now, shell still be obligated to tell them that I cut. And I would really rather that not happen.
I hate to say it, but I dont want her to see me differently than she does now, she appears to really like me. I dont want to be given like a stigma because of it. That probably sounds horrible, but I cant help but feel that way.

Sorry, I made this alot longer than I intended, its just been bothering me.
I was just looking for some advice or any experiences youve had with it, thanks so much for reading this :)

Katexx

[Sugar and Spice]

She works with many people with similar issues regarding depression and SI so she won't attach a stigma to you. She is right about having to tell your parents if you are currently a danger to yourself. If you tell her how long it has been since you last cut and stress that you don't intend to do it any time soon then you'll be fine. Often it is more linked with if you have specific plans to injure yourself or to end your life. I have always got around it by only telling them of past events and urges to harm myself, not any plans I may have to do so in the following week.

Thing is when I have been in therapy it is because I was referred due to SI or suicide attempts. So they knew I was depressed to begin with. Erm, the best I can suggest is just blurt it out. When I have had something big playing on my mind they have always known. I am torn between telling them because I want help and keeping it secret because I don't know how to say it or even if I really want to say it. In the end they ask me what it is I was going to say and I blurt it out after a fair few moments of continuing debating with myself. Then we discuss it and can sort things out.

[Amadeus]

Even talking about something that may seem trivial to you can help your therapist learn more about you. The first three sessions aren't going to consist of major breakthroughs, you're not going to be talking and suddenly feel like you know everything wrong, and how to put it right. It can take some time before you feel completely comfortable talking with her about everything, which is what it sounds like to me. But that's normal, I mean, are you going to walk up to some stranger in the street and start giving them your life story?

The only downside of this is it can be costly, hopefully you have insurance or some way of making sure that you can keep talking to someone even if it's not this particular person.

But in the end, you're going to have to be the one to really talk about SIing. She might be able to make a guess at it, but a good therapist isn't going to just start randomly assigning labels too you.

Once you feel comfortable with her, or even if you don't, but you just really want to talk to someone about it, bring it up. It might be helpful to see if she is qualified to help you with SI and everything you're going through. Some therapists only work with certain things, but even so, she should be able to refer you to someone who can help.

I guess you could start by asking her if she's ever dealt with any SIers before, what she did, etc. I wouldn't be too worried about being locked up or anything you said it's been almost year (congrats by the way), and the fact that you want to talk about it shows that you care enough about yourself to not want to hurt yourself again.

And in the end, the worst she can do is call for a padded van, and then you'll have to escape, and move to Canada. There, you'll learn to communicates with the polar bears, and, whilst becoming an incredibly good hockey player, you'll form all the polar bears into a giant gang. Then with the help of the other tundra creatures (and all those ex hippies up there) you'll help to stop global warming and bring peace on earth and goodwill to all men (and women). Unfortunately, Hollywood will then take your story and turn it into a horrible movie adaptation that makes you out to be a pot-smoking, bear loving hippie Nazi who is trying to use dark magic, a là Voldemort, to bring Hitler back to life. The movie will have poor box office openings, and will feature a song and dance number. It will suck.

But on the plus side, they have good beer in Canada.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes on Thursday.

Also, if you think the movie-bit is insensitive, let me know, I'll take it out. Unfortunately I'm in a downswing right now, and don't know when I'm being an asshole.