Gave the flat a tidy today and counted 6 1 litre bottles of vodka scattered around, just the site of them once i put them together was shocking, in 2 weeks i managed to polish them all off, not to mention I drank almost a whole bottle last night neat.
with my impending move out date, for which I will moving to live on my own, the alarm bells are ringing, the potentual issue has come to my attention that for the last 2 years ive only drank sensibly and hadly ever, focusing my efforts on being fitter, stronger and healthier.
recently ive turned back to drink, a problem that went on for years and engulfed my late teens and early 20's, ive been down this road before and it all got very out of control, I drank everyday at work, then id hit it hard when i finished, for a long time i was drunk 24hours a day for months on end.
I was out of control, add to that drugs and you got yourself a turbulent life style.
Its almost and escape from the boredom and dispair, the feeling that when you get home, you will be so deppressingly intensely bored, how are you going to get through that? well you go to your local offy and grab a bottle and then take it home and drink it, it makes it all go away, it makes you feel great. I seem to remember my now ex girlfriend wasnt ever going to get with me because my drinking was so bad, id meet everyone down the pub and id be hammered by the time i got there and end up on the florr having falled off my chair.
right now im feeling as empty as the bottle i drank last night, disgusted at how much i can drink. right now im sover and wondering where my life is heading right now, its startting to look like i could possibly end up back on the bottle and back to self destruct mode. Ive dont some crazy things in the past because of the drink.
For most of the day my kidneys have been telling me something, it might not be an accident, suicide or anything else that kills me, it will be the drink, im not getting any younger.
hve you ever seeked help for the alcohol addiction?
i think it would be a very good idea for you to get help right now alcohol acts as a depressant so even though you may feel like its good at the time in the long run it isnt
You need to get some support now before it turns back into what it was like before, you said yourself how bad it was drinking every day and such.
Is there anything you can to do to alleviate the boredom that drives you to drink? Get together with friends somewhere not the pub of course? Or I dunno, join a football team etc?
It might be worth seeing your doctor and seeing if there's any support groups around.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
If you want to recover from this, you need to acknowledge that you're now powerless to control your relationship with alcohol and you need outside help. Talk to your GP, mate. This stuff isn't worth dying for.
Pls call someone about this.
If AA seems too much to start with, maybe try a alcohol/addictions place? Not sure if yours there are similar; here they will help you curb your drinking...however their ultimate goal is to help you quit, as control no longer becomes possible.
Good luck.
