I am starting to be ready to find my own place again [the aim is for a single self contained studio flat - which is the absolute most I can afford].
Plus I am hearing 'rumbles' from my flatmates - snatches of conversation and such - that they will need me to move out soon anyway.
They haven't spoken to me directly yet, and I know I need to speak up to them. But I don't know how, I feel paralysed.
I've been living with them just over 6 years, and I want to do this properly, and not go into the 'you just want to get rid of me' mindset which is already pretty active in my head..
Ideally the timing would be to get started on everything at the end of the Summer, when everyone I need for references etc will be around. But I don't know what my flatmates' timeline is. Assuming they'd give me at least a month's notice?
I know I should bring up the subject with them this weekend. I'll probably take the 'easy' way out and write a letter to ask to talk at some point. But. Agh. I'm scared. What do I say?
Plus, it's 9 years since I last was involved with letting agents and flat hunting [finding my flatmates and their place was a different kind of situation]. I've forgotten how to do everything. [Plus I've been really ill inbetween.]
I've started making a list of suitable local letting agents. But then what's the process from here? If the monthly rental is £100 less than my monthly income, will they still ask for a guarantor? My parents would do so gladly [did when I was supply teaching], and do help me out financially anyway, but would the letting agent ask for guarantor in such a case - how picky are they? Just because my parents are getting on and can't keep running up to London to fill out forms for me etc.
Can someone run through the whole rental process with me please?
Do you have any contract with your flat mates? They should give you a months notice, but you may have to check on that if you've not signed a contract with them. You say you're starting to feel ready to move out, was this the case before you heard that you're flat mate was going to ask you to? If so, then one way to approach it may be, not to even ask them about what they have been saying, but just say that you're thinking about moving out, and if you can arrange a date that suites you both? It may give them a chance to say 'I was going to ask you if you'd be happy to move out because...' Just make sure that you're not only moving out because you feel forced to.
Moving can be daunting. I find www.rightmove.co.uk a real help. You type in your postcode, and enter how much you can afford etc, and it'll give you a list of all the properties that are available in your area. When you find ones you like, contact the letting agency and arrange a viewing. If you like it, then the letting agency can explain the rest of the process to you.
In terms of a guarantor I'm not sure... I didn't need one, they just needed the details of my employer and a reference from them. My boyfriend had to have one, but he was able to post all the paperwork to his dad, again I think it depends on the letting agent. I wouldn't worry too much about this, as there are ways and means to get around it. The best thing to do is focus on telling your flat mate and trying to find a place to move to. The rest the letting agent will help with.
I moved about a month ago, so if there's anything else I can do at all just message me.
Hope it all goes well, it's a massive step, you should be really proud of yourself xx
Another question - several London boroughs intersect fairly closely near me - like the other side of the main road close by is a different borough to the side of the road I'm on. Would I need to stay in the same borough to stay with my current GP? She's great with me, and let me stay with the same practice when I moved a bit further away, but I'm assuming I'd need to stay in the same borough?
Also - would it be reasonable to tell a letting agent that I suffer from anxiety? Just so they're aware kind of thing, that the process might be more challenging for me than average? Or should I keep quiet and hope they don't think I'm too weird?
Responses to my original questions also still welcome and needed.
... my flatmates keep whispering about things and it's really getting to me...
May want to ask your GP about that... When I moved, I should have changed doctors (still should), but he's basically said to me that as long as I have my mail re-directed to my new house, he's happy to keep seeing me until I feel happy to change doctors.
About the guarantor situation, my father is my guarantor, but he didn't have to see my letting agent in person at all, it was all done postally. So I wouldn't worry if you do need one as your Dad probably wont have to go to London.
hey, unfortunatley the system runs differently for different agents.
your best bet is to look at the properties available or ask the agents to post you some details about suitable properties.
if your flatmates saw one of these lying around then it might be a good way to broach the subject.
if you are on benefits you will need a guarantor in most cases, some agents charge an admin fee for every adult living in the property, plus one for a guarantor, i know when we were looking through agents some admin fees were a % of the monthly rent, others were £100 for first adult, £50 for every other, so we'd end up paying £200 just for dad to guarantee the rent!
if you are on benefits then some people won't accept DSS (housing benefit) and some places only want professionals living there especially in a flat share, they might be letting one room out and don't want the flatmate there during 9-5 etc.
good luck and if you can find something yourself through a newspaper, word of mouth etc, it saves you a lot of money and you don't have anxious waits while the estate agent contacts landlord then gets back to you.
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
I know when we were looking some places wanted a guarantor, others didn't. I think my last place my landlords didn't ask for one from anyone, neither (do I think) did the 2 before that however my new one and my first one did but they're both for university accomodation; the new one owned by the uni, the other one owned by a different company but in part organised by uni; the other 3 were privately rented and also without the useage of an agent which often means less cost as you don't have to pay money to them as it is often cutting out the 'middle man' but it depends how much you want to trust the landlords I guess.
Am I right in understanding you work for a counsel-owned library? Does the counsel have it's own intranet where you can post ad's in it? That may be worth a try just to see if anyone is interested in renting out a room/ small studio flat sort of thing as there may be some.
In terms of the GPs, it does depend on your own individual ones. Some will cover a certain area which may correspond to the boroughs, others don't so you should discuss this with them and as well, with existing patients they can bend the rules to some extent; it's often new patients to the centre or if they are pretty much full with patients (often shown with either 'ringing on the day' appointment systems or ridiculously long waiting times) where they clamp down a bit more but I would suggest talking this through with someone at your own surgery, whether that be your GP/ a receptionist/ surgery manager/ whoever; at least then you know where to stand. I know one I used in London had limits within the borough which they would not go out of and this was based on like streets a certain distance away to make a boundary and anyone within that (small) area was fine to use the practice whereas anyone outside that wasn't and that was within a borough so I think it is more based around how far you actually live from the doctors rather than the borough as well as the rules of your own place.
I would also suggest that with any new place you get, regardless of whether the people you move in with turn out to be people who you are already friends with, you should have a contract drawn up. This may not be something that gets sent through a solicitor or anything, just a written statement signed by all parties involved just saying the expectations with things such as notice given when moving out/ maybe certain things you can and can't do/ the share of the household bills and stuff. The reason I say this is that even the best friendships can go sour rather quickly without prior warning and the fact that you have no contract at the moment means they have nothing stopping them not giving you any notice (which I hope doesn't make your anxiety worse or make you think that is definately what will happen as it more than likely won't).
I would definately discuss them and do it whichever way you feel most comfortable with. I think personally I'd probably just say that you've been thinking about moving out and see what they say; they don't have to know whether the main reason is that you feel they may want you to leave or not!
I've drafted out a brief note to leave for my flatmates saying I need to speak with them this weekend, and briefly why. It feels weird, as something's shifted. Uh. My head's complicated. Anyway. I'll leave the note for them in the morning. I just don't want to upset them in any way.
You're right, I do work for my council library service. We do have an intranet, but it's not something we can post anything on.
I definitely am looking for a self contained studio - so flatmates next time round won't be an issue. I want to go the letting agent route, simply because of trust [had an issue with a dodgy letting agents in East London, which has made me VERY wary.] and wanting everything to be *official*. I ended up with a very good letting agent and landlord in East London in the end. In fact I was wondering about contacting them to see if they can recommend agencies in this area. I need to find out where my old landlord is now anyway... [he was always ferrying off to Ireland! why are so many landlords Irish?!] That way I have a contract and all suchlike things.
My current flatmates are very good. But they do have a tendency to think things through and organise things carefully before they tell me, which is great to some degree, but there gets a point where it just triggers me and I need things out in the open. That's what this discussion will start. Ha. Can you tell I'm working on all this in therapy?!
ah ok, are you looking for just another room then? or a whole place of your own, just thinking part-time wages might not cover rent... but then i have no idea what rent is like in your area. i know the housing allowance here would only get us a hovel and so we're lucky a friend is renting us her place cheaper because of no estate agents, she basically took their fees off the rent, and we still have to make up a bit each month.
if you google flatmates there are often sites where people post to find new flatmates and on facebook there's an application called marketplace where you can advertise for rooms as 'wanted' and also reply to 'wanted:flatmates' adverts.
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
Nope, a self contained studio - studio room with kitchenette and own shower/bathroom and loo. I've researched prices, and there are quite a few places around within the upper limit of my price range. I definitely want my own place at this point in time.
I just left the note out for my flatmates. She'll see it when she gets up.
I'm rather anxious, to say the least.
She seems fairly relaxed about it, and kind of relieved I've opened it up, which is good.
But I'm stepping back from talking tonight as I've not been feeling good physically at all this afternoon - my body always responds to my taking assertive steps in this way, which is most frustrating.
Hopefully we'll all talk tomorrow evening.
I think I'm needing to take this very slowly and gently on myself.
I feel ashamed this morning, ashamed of hiding again. But the physical stuff literally 'knocked me out'. Ashamed in some part of me also of the assertiveness.
Please anyone could I have some support and encouragement with this?
Also, any further comments on the whole rental process are welcome still..
well done for going through with it. they're probably discussing how relieved they are to have it out in the open and that they didn't have to broach the subject themselves.
be proud of yourself and revel in the knowledge that you're one step closer to being independant.
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
The thing is, Mand [thanks, btw. :)] they said that they'll need to get someone else in when I leave, as they need the money for the mortgage... Not sure what the deal is with the convos. that I heard, but that isn't my problem... I want my own place, own space..
Am reading books on rental, which is kind of disheartening, but I need to be as clued up as I can, and have the coming month to do just that, in preparation.
ah so it seems they weren't trying to get rid of you? maybe they were guessing that you were getting ready to leave and discussing if they could afford to live on their own?
you still took the first step, and i think this is the right move for you. i hope you find somewhere nice.
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
