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Is respite really worth it?
I've been offered respite several times, but I back out at the last minute. Like next week I'm meant to go, but I'm terrified of somewhere new/different. Even though I know I need respite - to try and prevent hospital admissions - I really am unsure about going. I'd rather hide in my flat with the curtains closed. My psychologist has a theory that I just want to know that the care would be available/someone would show that they care.
The thing is I feel I've got to put up this front that I'm a lot better than I actually am because I persuaded my psychiatrist to put me on a very expensive unlicensed and experimental/rare medication, because nothing else has worked. I guess I'm afraid that if I have people around me all the time they'll see that I'm not coping and either hospitalise me or take my independence away and stick me in a residential home.
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