Not Feeling "Worthy" of Help

xXMessedUpXx · 13-07-2009, 01:30 PM

So since i lost my job (or should that be since they decided i'd resigned when i blatantly hadn't) i've had no money. Am still signed off sick and not fit to work mainly cos of my depression (possibly also cos of the BPD). I know all i need to do is just fill in the sodding forms and apply for benefits, but no matter how much i try and force myself to, i can't.

I don't feel worthy of the help. I've been put off applying for DLA cos the Psych i saw old me "its normally for people with more serious problems than you". And i can't bring myself to fill in all th other forms, especially ESA as they are going to want bank statement and old pay slips and due my old work ****ing me over (and my previous application being "lost") i don't have these things.

I feel like i'm not ill enough to deserve help. But i don't get how ill i have to be before they will help me. Even when i was actively suicidal and OD i apparently wasn't that ill. I can't face applying for help right now cos im finding it too overwhelming

Every time i try to fill forms it it just makes me feel like **** and the urge to SI gets worse.

I would try going to the jobcenter but i've heard bad things and CAB were useless when i went to see them. if i leave this much longer i wont be able to even keep a roof over my head but i'm finding this really hard to cope with.

has anyone else been in the same situation? what did you do?

help,

shadow-light · 13-07-2009, 01:40 PM

I got declared unfit for work a few weeks ago and so am currently in the process of applying for DLA and ESA... I cn relate to the "not feeling bad enough" thing... but I think it's part of the "disorder" that we may never feel bad enough or worthy... but these things are there to help, in a way the fact you are finding it so hard to fill out the forms sort of shows that you are probably "worthy" of them...

I found it helped to get someone to assist in the form filling, esspecially with DLA as often we will play down our own issues but another person may point them out and make sure that they are included, etc.

Hollz · 13-07-2009, 09:25 PM

You are worthy hunni, trust me x

kuroneko · 14-07-2009, 12:21 PM

First off, you ARE worthy and they WILL help.

I get DLA (disability living allowance) and ESA (employment support allowance) the forms aren't pretty to fill in.

If you feel fit too go see your local welfare rights team, they know how to word it correctly so you get the most financial help. The forms for ESA are pretty bog standard you dont have to go into too much detail but the DLA forms (which I highly suggest you try and do) are pretty personal and ask how you cope with things ie social situations and if you forget to look after yourself, but be honest the smallest detail helps.

hope that helped a little. if you want help filling in the forms PM me :) i'm a pro now

Bear · 14-07-2009, 02:00 PM

Definately get someone from welfare rights to help you, I couldn't have done mine without them! I know its hard but try and ask if your MH team have someone that helps with benefits, mine does and they're REALLY good because they're used to helping people with mental health problems. But seriously you shouldnt feel bad about it, there's loads of people on benefits with nothing wrong with them so if you genuinely have an illness (and if youre depressed this IS a genuine illness) you have nothing to feel bad about! Try and do it before you get into a financial mess though :)
Good luck!

xXMessedUpXx · 14-07-2009, 10:13 PM

how do i get mental health team/welfare rights to help me? i remember my doc saying something bout referring me to CMHT but have never heard anything about it again?

thanks for all the advice so far

eyes.wide.open · 14-07-2009, 11:20 PM

I dont really have any advice about the paperwork \ people to talk to..

But i just wanted to pop in and tell you that you ARE worthy. like said above, that feeling is often part of disorders or symptoms we have..and its not true. you are definately worthy of help.

kuroneko · 15-07-2009, 03:21 PM

your citizens advice bureau should be able to help. if not try googling it, my key worker told me about them.

xXMessedUpXx · 17-07-2009, 11:15 AM

hey, thanks for the replies, i've already been to see C.A.B and they really weren't any help. i'm going to try to fill in a form each day (and for the big ones a section each day) and see if i can get them all done by the end of next week.

dont know why it terrifies me so much. i just hate forms and talking to people i dont know on the phone

Bear · 17-07-2009, 11:20 AM

Remember you're supposed to write it as if you're having a bad day, I'm not saying to lie, just to describe yourself at your worst, thats what I was told to do :)
BTW I'm the same with the phone!

xXMessedUpXx · 20-07-2009, 04:35 PM

ok so im printing off forms but have just started panicking cos reading the council tax+housing benefit form they want all the work details from my housemates and i dont think theyd be willing to tell me, espceially as one housemate doesn't think i should be claiming cos it means she and my other housemate will have to "pay more" :( HELP