scared - spirits

i'm getting scared with everything going on. bf said i slept horrible last night. explains why i slept about 13 hrs. said i was tossing and talking and sounded like i was scared of something. i think they're bothering me in my sleep now. and i think i'm starting to see things. i saw a shadow out of the corner of my eye. like in the shape of a person. in the dark i saw creepy eyes. i'm afraid to go out in public by myself cause a few weeks ago i did and i got paranoid and actually wanted to hurt someone, which is not normal for me. i'm not sure what He is doing to me. or They. i don't even know anymore. i see the word Echo everywhere. He's the only sorta good voice in my head. i know this makes no sense to anyone but me. but i think the meds aren't working because it's real. there really are spirits after me. they're in my head. and i'm starting to see things in the spirit world. ugh. i don't think i want this. but in a way i do. except when the voices were telling me to hurt myself. that was bad. ok i'm going to stop rambling now.

[tamobhuuta]

sorry thinsg are so bad for you right now *hugs*. how often do you see someone for help? would you be able to bring all these thinsg up next time you see them? how long have you been on the meds? maybe you need to give them more time. or, not just one med will work for every person. so maybe you haven't found the right one yet.

i see my mental health team quite often. i'm currently trying to get a psych appt to talk about it and the fact that my meds mess with my breathing. i will probably print this out for them to see. thanks for your support. :)

i don't want to be like this. i want to be normal. i'm going back to school and all i want is to make it. is that too much?

[tamobhuuta]

*hugs* i don't think it's asking too much, but we don't always get what's reasonable or fair. why don't you think you'll make it back to school?

cause this stuff might hurt my concentration.

[tamobhuuta]

you can still go back to school with bad concentration. you could get soemoen to explain to school, or explain yourself, that you're struggling at the moment and can they take that into account with your school work. i would say that maybe if going to school would put you in danger it might be a good idea to go back a bit later, when you're feeling better.

[Chloe.]

I understand exactly what you're going through. The spirits are after me, too. They try to hurt me in my dreams. Sorry I don't have much advice, but I'm just a pm away if you need anything. (: